my family's reaction

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
my family's reaction
4
Fri, 09-29-2006 - 12:23am
First thank you to everyone who has responded to my posts. I just reread some of them. I have been reading all of the posts by everyone really. My family is so unsupportive. My mom basically has decided to ignore everything I have told her. My Dad actually encouraged me to spend time with him, see his family, etc! I grew up in a very abusive house and it seems both my family and his family are so very worried about keeping up appearances. I hate this! I am very, very angry about what he did - it is almost like a bad dream. The anger has gotten me motivated to take care of some things. Thanks for listening, hopefully I will be able to get some sleep.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2005
Fri, 09-29-2006 - 11:45am

Sam, I am so sorry your parents have decided to shirk their responsibility as parents.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2006
Fri, 09-29-2006 - 4:07pm

I'm sorry to hear about your familiys reaction. I just don't think they truly undersand what you are going thru and if you did grow up in an abusive household then I am not suprised that they are not supportive. You do not need unsupportive people in your life right now. You need people that are on your side and that will tell you that you are doing the right thing. You are doing the right thing. Everyone on this board will tell you that you are doing the right thing. Do not follow thru with that your father suggested. I bet his family will stand up to the way he treated you. My abusers mom pretty much did. All I could think is that this is not the way I deserve to be treated. I don't care if his dad called his mom names... I do not want that in my relationship, and I deserve better. You deserve better too... do not go back to this man. Try to keep minimal contact with this man. You are strong.... Keep up the good work!!

Hugs. Lauren

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 10-01-2006 - 10:23pm
eventhough my family is very supportive of what I am doning right now. They are worried about appearances also. My mom tells everyone that he left me(I left him). She makes it into this big poor me sob storie. I look at it like I've just empowered myself by doing this and leaving him. anyway she also says that maybe he just needs a stronger women. I explained to her how emotional abuse works and she still thinks that "someone stronger" would have recognized this sooner and left. SO SO SO FRUSTRATING. Don't worry about what they say your a strong women you know what you are doing is the right thing to do.
How annoying sometimes. and lonely too. Hang in there
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2004
Tue, 10-03-2006 - 9:20pm

We see this from families a lot, and almost always it is about maintaining appearances. That is certainly what it was about when my IL's took SIL's abuser's part. That situation is improving since they've seen that DH and I won't go along with the program, but they still don't quite grasp why appearances are not the most important thing.

Think of it this way: it takes much more strength to do what is right than to go along with "the flow", lemming-like. Your strength is much greater than theirs.

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