My Intro...

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2003
My Intro...
11
Mon, 10-23-2006 - 2:11pm

My husband has been very nasty and yells at me. He tells me to "shut up" (and sometimes our 5 yr old daughter too!). He tells me that I "need to learn the meaning of marriage". That one told to me after yelling at me and I was crying outside in front of the house. That was a couple of weekends ago. I told him at that time that I was "going to leave you" and he said "go ahead...run away that is what you do, what you are good at"...I couldn't believe it!!! I try to do everything correct and keep our daughter out of his way. It is getting difficult and financially things aren't great either. I am scared.

I met with a divorce attorney last Friday (the 20th). His advice was that I should seek shelter either with my parents (who offered to take me and my daughter in) or with the Prudence Crandall Center for abused women! I was taken aback as I did not "think" or "feel" I was abused. He said that this happens over time. The attorney told me that I should leave that friday (with my daughter of course) and leave him a note telling him that he is abusive and I will not take it anymore. The attorney is the best in the area and even offered at the free consultation that if I had any additional questions, to call at no charge and he would speak to me. Well, it was Friday and my daughter's birthday party was on Saturday with everyone coming to the house!!! I could not leave him then!!!!!

My husband does not want me to work. I work full-time and he thinks it is only part-time. I have no friends left and we live in a house he chose before we were married.

Things are going pretty good right now. I told my father this afternoon that I am trying to decide what to do and he told me that I could wait for the answer the next time he decides to be angry!

I am CONFUSED!!! I know in my head that this is probably classic abuse reactions...but I can't seem to find the inner strength to stand up to him. The attorney did also recommend that I see a counselor for dealing with abuse!

AM I REALLY ABUSED?!?!?!?!? Please help.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2004
In reply to: nini505
Wed, 10-25-2006 - 10:51am
If you have to ask if you are abused, you probably are. :( The best place to start is by educating yourself about what abuse is and what to do about it; you can make the best choices for yourself there. Our website, accessible through the Start page, is a good place to begin. Contact your local DV shelter also; even if you are not ready to leave, they can provide you with resources to learn more. Good luck, and do keep us posted.
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