My knight in shining armour an abuser?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
My knight in shining armour an abuser?
4
Wed, 07-28-2004 - 2:54am
well you all remember my last post, i hope.

JIM.

Yeah, Mr. Wonderful.

Well he got upset at me the other night.........long story.

The next thing I know he was emailing me and i was emailing him back. We were both being childish fighting.

HOWEVER, he starts typing: F you, you STUPID f-ing bitch!! and going off.

Im like WHOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA, where did this come from.

Now Im like what the heck?????? Is this an abuser??????? BIG RED FLAG?

I didnt get an apology.

I got this: YOU PUSHED ME TO IT PAM.

So now.............im figuring I am going to have to ditch him like almost immediately. 3 months down the drain.

what do gals think??

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2004
Wed, 07-28-2004 - 3:45am
be glad it's only been 3 months and you haven't been hurt yet. you were right to notice the red flag. and then of course he blames you for it - classic. best to get out now, and try not to fall for the "i'll change" crap because the work that it takes to really do that, most of these guys will never do.

good luck
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 07-28-2004 - 9:39am
Zen:

Trust yourself. You have come a long way. You have gone through healing. Anyone in this world whether they've been in our situation already or not can meet an abuser. It's what you do with the information when it's presented to you. You did NOT deserve the language he used, nor the back and forth emails (I'm sure yours were trying to focus on the issue ... not abusive), and last "you PUSHED him to it???????" Major red flags. You have worked too hard to get where you are today. Do what you need to do, hold your head up high and be gentle with yourself. Although it's disappointing, thank goodness you saw these signs NOW and do not go into denial then get hurt worse, start doubting yourself, go another 10 years, TOTALLY lose you ... Thank goodness you are aware today.

You're in my prayers.

Kathy
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Wed, 07-28-2004 - 1:02pm

Okay, I held off a Python joke last night, but I can't hold this one off...


RUN AWAY!

CL-Blueliner4

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2004
Wed, 07-28-2004 - 3:14pm
I'm new here, but I wouldn't stay one minute with a guy that said (typed) those things to me. Oh yeah, the "You pushed me to it" is a dead giveaway.

Of course he's an abuser. Good men do not talk to people like that.

Three months is nothing. Hanging on for years to a brute is another story.