My relationship may have become abusive but I'm having trouble accepting & believing it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-18-2008
My relationship may have become abusive but I'm having trouble accepting & believing it.
3
Sat, 12-18-2010 - 12:22am

Sorry, this is long!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-19-2004

Yes, don't fool yourself, this is abusive. Sounds exactly like my exhusband. I was married for 17 years, just got out a year ago. The jealousy was the first issue he showed, and it got worse and worse and then very quickly escaled out of control over time. It got to the point that there was nothing he wouldn't do. Your guy sounds like he has already gotten to the point mine was at when I realized he was capable of really hurting me or someone else. The peeking in windows, following you to the gym, yellling at you in public because you're talking to a guy, I could've written this. And he also used to kick me out of the house all the time, usually because my parents had bought our child a toy or clothes or something, or she had a toy out that he didn't buy and he didn't know where it came from. A few times, he sat my clothes and jewelry and personal items outside in the yard while it was raining. I came home from work to find everything soaked and most of it ruined. And I didn't have much clothing and things. Wasn't allowed to.

don't wait....get away from this guy. If you don't have children yet, don't have them with this guy. Mine hurt his own child, and our child together so bad, his own doesn't even realize that he lies to her and manipulates her still, and she's an adult now. My other is a teen and has problems relating to how he treated her and me and everyone else. He has caused my child and me to pretty much break down at one point, both of us at different times, and we both suffer from anxiety and health problems due to the constant stress and fear we lived in. I know some others on this board will have some more practical advice on what to do to get out. You should be able to get a protective order for one, but I can tell you that yes, this is abuse, I've been there.

Avatar for cajunharmony
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2001

Kat, there are so many things in your post that prompt me to say, "Run hard, run fast and don't look back!"

Mama Harmony

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2010

Believe it. This guy you're with