My Security has been Compromised

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2004
My Security has been Compromised
3
Fri, 08-27-2004 - 4:20pm
I don't know what to do. A friend that I confided in and showed this board showed my entries to my abusive bf last night. I should have known better, because she is the gf of my bf's friend, and she has suffered abuse by him, and still wears a diamond ring he bought her...seems like less than a month that he smashed her windshield and grinded her gears in her new car, which ruined her transmission. I must sound angry, bitter, betrayed, and confused. I am.

I especially feel utterly defeated and saddened by the idea that I can no longer feel safe enough to post here. Has this happened to anyone? And any ideas to go around this? If there is a way to respond to me privately, please do so.

I wanted to share my experiences with him last night, including this almost entirely fictional letter that he wrote to me, but I guess it must wait!

Thanks for everything!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-02-2004
Tue, 11-02-2004 - 7:05pm
Nice post. Glad to hear your real thoughts.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2003
Tue, 11-02-2004 - 9:21pm
Perhaps you should change your user name so they cannot identify your posts. They will have to read through a lot of posts to figure out which ones are yours.

That's a bad situation. It sucks to trust people, then have them do something like that. I wish you the best.

catlover66

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-19-2003
Fri, 11-05-2004 - 1:49pm
Yes, it happened to me too. My ex had installed spyware on the PC, so even thought I was every careful about clearing the history on the PC and deleting all evidence of my visits hhere, he had my username and password and all of my posts. I did leave him suddenly very shortly after my first few visits here, so there wasn't a lot of information.. but he did print out my posts and surprised me with them during the DA hearing. It was horrible to be confronted with that during such a difficult hearing and having to explain my personal, private (I thought) thoughts and fears. I had said in one post that he never 'really' hurt me. I tried to explain that I was trying to distinguish between the abuse I experienced and what others here had (I never had broken bones or anything). They took that little phrase to mean that I was lying about the abuse and the Restraining order was dropped. It is devastiting and dangerous to have your identity known here. I changed my name and never gave ANY sort of identification here for a lONG TIME.

Good Luck