My sister doesn't understand

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2004
My sister doesn't understand
2
Tue, 08-10-2004 - 2:39pm
Please, does anybody know a reference I can refer my sister to so that she understands a bit what I am going through? She has trouble understanding abusive relationships, and is angry that I won't leave. She is bitter and resentful and feels like I keep letting her down. Nothing I say makes much difference to her. I think she just can't believe me any more, when I keep subjecting myself to this guy.

Thanks!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2004
Tue, 08-10-2004 - 2:50pm
hi teodorra. i am having the same problem with my sister and we are twins. she swares that she would never allow herself to be put through such things but i tell her she really doesnt know because she has never been there. then the other day i remembered something she had told me once. had long since forgot it but it helped her a little- i think. she was hit by a guy once. only once but they beat the mess out of each other. Ohhhh, wait- she got pushed my her ex, i have to remember to tell her that one too. anyway.......

i reminded her of this and i say the light come on. she started laughing talking about how that was different because it only happened once. (you know, that nervous laugh.) i told her to stop and aactually think about it. she stayed with that guy for a little while longer, untill he cheated. now he is in jail for murder. made her wake up a little. JUST A LITTLE. but the little helped her to stop her nagging for a little while. maybe your sister has a hidden secret that you may not know about. try to get her to think about what someone has done to her, someone she really cared about and did she forgive them. be it someone lieing on her, cheating on her. anything. maybe you'll see the light too.

keep your head up- BIG HUGS,

shay
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2003
Tue, 08-10-2004 - 2:51pm

You can tell her until you're blue in the face, but until she's been abused, she'll have no clue as to the dynamics of an abusive relationship.


Books to read:


"Why Does He Do That" by Lundy Bancroft


"Face in the Mirror" by Dianne Schwartz


"The Verbally Abusive Relationship" by Patricia Evans

tracytrebilcox


You may forget with whom you laughed, but you will never forget with whom you wept.

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