my update
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| Mon, 04-12-2004 - 6:43pm |
Life has been a bit easier but also more stressful if that makes any sense hehe. Running my son to school and then off to school myself right afterwards and then after I get out of school going up to feed my bunnies at my husbands house and then going to pick up my son at his school and then back to my parents hehe...whew its a fast day.
I have been trying to keep the contact with my husband to a minimum but he talked me into going over with our son for Easter. It was an ok day and I basically sat in my old lazy boy chair and read and studied for my exam I had today. My husband pushed it toward the end of the day though. I wanted to leave at 7 so that I could study some more and get some laundry done and some other chores I had to do and when my son wanted to play outside my husband went with him...and was out until 8 o'clock. I was so mad by the time 8 came around. They had both said they would just go out a few minutes and then it ended up being over half an hour. I went outside and asked my son if he wanted to spend the night(I was mad I probably shouldnt have said it) with his dad or go home with me because I had to leave. My husband came over and gave me a hug and I cringed away from him and he said to me in my ear "You're gonna have to start warming up to me sometime" and then I said "Whatever" and then he got mad at me. I cant remember what exactly he said to me but it felt like a threat to me...I just remember feeling scared and getting a chill...but I cant remember what he said to me. Maybe something like you had better or life will get difficult or something like that. I just remember feeling afraid of what he was going to do and wondering what he meant and fearing that he meant he was going to try to take my son away from me. So I walked away from him and got my son around to leave and we went back to my parents house.
Then I called my best friends mom and talked to her and cried on her shoulder for a little bit while my son took a bath.
I know I should file for divorce but I talked to my lawyer from legal aid and she advised me to wait if I could until I moved back up to Michigan. Because if something is filed now it could look bad for me living in Ohio...and a judge could court order me to move back up to Michigan. I just dont want to lose my son...I dont care about any money or anything else but I never want to lose my son to him.
I also know that no contact is best but I really dont think I can do it while living here with my parents. Also we have a child together and I just am not sure how to handle all of this.
Hugs to everyone.
Take care of yourselves.
Ree

Ree, sweetie, given your circumstances, you're doing a great job.
CL-Blueliner4
Thanks so much. Some days this is so hard and others it feels like I am doing ok and maybe I really can do this. Your words mean so much to me...thank you.
love and hugs,
Ree