My worst fear

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2004
My worst fear
7
Sat, 03-05-2005 - 5:31am

Please tell me this is reasonable or not. I am going out of my mind with anxiety. In recent events, that AHH has taken all of the savings and investments, and still has the nerve to show up in court next week. What's worse is that I have received the requests for liquidation and the checks went to his mother. That means his mother has been an accomplice. And he is having no problem showing his face in court next week. This tells me that he has no respect for the court system or the judge, or myself and is taking matters in his own hands.

The fear is this: that the next thing he is eyeing is my son. He asks for visitation on Wednesday, the same date as the court. He wants to go to the social center that evening at 5pm to meet with my son. The social center tells me his mother is here to see him as well. The scenario I fear is this: He shows up with mother, picks my son up and starts forcing his way out the door of the place. The two not so big social workers would be powerless to stop him. Sure they can call the police, but he would run as fast as he could and hide. Besides, the courts have not yet given me the temporary custody I thought I had got, and he has joint custody at the moment. In other words, he would know he has every right to take my son and nobody could arrest him for doing it. Next thing I know, I am fighting to get my son back for the next two years. I really think he would dream up such a plot. He really doesn't care about his reputation or about the law. And his mother doesn't seem to care either. He has refused in letter to pay child support and has demanded custody as well as contested my temporary custody. I called the embassy here about whether he would have flagged my son's passport and the lady said she would look into it and call me back Monday. Only a couple hours later she called back and left a message on my phone. She said in a very serious tone that I MUST get temporary custody because she cannot flag my son's passport until then and the AHH has the right to take him when he wishes. She also warned that there are ways around getting my son a passport with only one signature (or forging). It seemed odd since she only repeated what she said earlier. But this time she sounded urgent. I wondered if she was hinting that something must be up. I am terrified. I am terrified to even leave the house now with my son. The counselor said I knew AHH better than anyone and so my gut instincts say this is precisely the next step he would take in this situation.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2003
In reply to: hglucky
Sat, 03-05-2005 - 7:14am

Hi hglucky,

I have no idea on your situation legally, but definitely go with your gut feeling. One thing that is for sure about abusers is they have no respect for anything. They could care less about what the laws are. They feel they are entitled to everything. Find some sort of support somewhere. I'm having problems with that counselor of yours. He/she should know exactly what you are up against. I wish I could be of more help.

Terry

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
In reply to: hglucky
Sat, 03-05-2005 - 7:35pm
Are you in a country other than the US? I am confused. Do you have some sort of embassy that can direct you to resources? R~

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2003
In reply to: hglucky
Sat, 03-05-2005 - 7:45pm
Wasn't there something about an abduction unit at the DA's office? Would it be possible to notify them and hide, whether in a shelter or at a friends' home? There's got to be someone who can act quickly when there's a serious flight risk.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2004
In reply to: hglucky
Sun, 03-06-2005 - 1:21am
I live in Austria. I have contacted the US embassy and they have told me their hands are tied until I get a temporary custody order. I am sure AH knows that since it is in his personality to plot and deceive people. Not to say he is clever though. I have contacted the visitation social center and explained my fears to them concerning a visitation on Wednesday evening. They brought up a good point. The counselor asked, 'were the visitations ordered by the court?'. No, they were not. There hasn't been a court order yet concerning visitation or custody. I was doing it to show good faith by letting my son see AH. But I guess I am not obligated to do it. The counselor suggested that maybe it would be better to put off further visitations until an order comes from the court and I am awarded some sort of custody. Until then, there is a risk that AH will try to 'excercise' his 'rights' to my son. Unfortunately that would mean me never getting to see him again. What is worse it that his dear mother is working as an accomplice for diverting all of the investments from our joint accounts to his private checking account (got proof of that). I doubt she would have a problem with trying to take her grandson away as well. I told the social center people that I just have a 'gut' feeling about this and know he is capable of such things, regardless of courts and laws.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2003
In reply to: hglucky
Sun, 03-06-2005 - 8:45pm
Glad you got some good advice, Lucky. What a relief. Now just watch your back. P&PT coming your way.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2004
In reply to: hglucky
Mon, 03-07-2005 - 7:31am

I am so worn and tired of all of this. It is not natural for me to keep up this kind of paranoid thinking. But today I got into it with the lawyer after telling her to get that temporary custody NOW! She tried to argue that these things take time. I said I wouldn't settle for the apology AFTER he took my son, that I wanted to prevent it in the first place. I cannot put the safeguards in place without the custody.

Regarding the money AH took...I got a copy of the fax he sent to the funds company to redeem the cash. It was a letter telling them to deposit into his private account (it gives the d&mn account number) and is signed supposedly by him. The writing address is his mother's address. The reply fax is his mother's fax. The account is his private account. The contact number for him is in Poland. And the signature is absolutely NOT his but looks like a very poor forgery by his mother maybe? I have a copy of his signature to compare. What is worse is that I called the d$mn fund company on March 1 to find out he redeemed the cash on 24 February. When they sent me a copy of the famous faxed letter from 'him', it was dated March 1 as well, around the same time I had called. What's going on?! I called my financial advisor who apologized profusely saying AH asked him for the balance on the account and he had to give it to him because he is a joint owner. But he didn't seem to know that AH was intended to cash out. He said he would call the fund company and find out what happened. We think they have somehow seriously mismanaged this cashout by allowing an unverified person to request the funds.

What does this tell me? That he is getting desperate. He is showing his face in court on Wednesday not caring one wit what anyone thinks. The US embassy has hinted that he has been calling their office and admitted he could have requested a new passport for my son in Poland and they wouldn't have been alerted. I really think he is planning the unthinkable move. Why do they let guys like this in society? And only catagorized as a man because he CERTAINLY isn't a woman and on forms they don't offer a third check box for 'other'.

My God, I am next to tears every day, all day, and it is tough not falling apart when someone innocently asks how I am. Somebody make him stop....stop hurting me, my son, and even himself..... I never hated someone as much as I hate this 'thing' that I stupidly married....

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
In reply to: hglucky
Mon, 03-07-2005 - 2:01pm

While what I am going to say may not be popular with some people here, I'm going to do it anyway:


DO NOT, under any circumstances, go to that visitation.

CL-Blueliner4