In need of advice please...
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In need of advice please...
| Mon, 10-04-2004 - 9:12pm |
This may be long but please bear with me.....
Last summer I left my bf who is also the father of my 2 yr. old daughter. Back then he had a drinking problem, and he still does, and we had alot of verbal fights. I left last july and moved back in with my parents.In August he tried to get custody of our child, but I was granted full custody and he got every wednesday overnight and every other weekend. Well my parents live an hour away from where he lives so it was a bit of a pain having to travel that much, so it lasted about a month and in September he had convinced me that he had changed and promised me all kinds of things, so ofcourse I fell for it and I thought it was best for my daughter to have both her parents. Well things went good until I found out I was pregnant with our second child this past february. He started drinking again and staying out all the time.His family owns a used car business so his excuse was always something to do with work. So I was pretty much doing everything by myself, I would even havre to beg him for money for grocery's. Well this past labor day he had been out all night partying and came home drunk at 2 in the afternoon, so ofcourse I was mad. Well he got mad that i was mad and hit me in my face, in front of our daughter, and I am almost 9 months along at this time. He left, and the police were called , they took a report and photos of my black eye. Well I was not aware that the custody order was still in effect , so he and his parents tried to contact me to get the visitation. I spoke to the county attorney and several other abuse advocates and they all informed me that I didn't have to follow through with if I wasnt comfortable and since he was arrested for physical abuse. Today I had to go to court for the protection order and before court started I was served with papers to be in court on the 29th for being in contempt for not following the custody order, and the papers said I left after a verbal argument, nothing about him hitting ofcourse, but i have the report and the pictures to prove it. I was granted my protection order but the judge today didn't really give me a chance to explain anything, so he said I had to follow the old custody arrangement. I am not comfortable at all even though it is to be supervised by his mother, but his father abuses his mother all the time and he tried to run me off the road the last time I was in town, he wants to see his grandkids so bad but he could have killed me and my unborn child which is his grand child. I have no money for an attorney, I had to quit my job because of the pregnancy awhile ago, so I guess I am just wondering what I can do. I tried the legal aide thing but they can;t do anything until after my court date. If anyone has any advice I would greatly appreciate it.
Thank you.
Last summer I left my bf who is also the father of my 2 yr. old daughter. Back then he had a drinking problem, and he still does, and we had alot of verbal fights. I left last july and moved back in with my parents.In August he tried to get custody of our child, but I was granted full custody and he got every wednesday overnight and every other weekend. Well my parents live an hour away from where he lives so it was a bit of a pain having to travel that much, so it lasted about a month and in September he had convinced me that he had changed and promised me all kinds of things, so ofcourse I fell for it and I thought it was best for my daughter to have both her parents. Well things went good until I found out I was pregnant with our second child this past february. He started drinking again and staying out all the time.His family owns a used car business so his excuse was always something to do with work. So I was pretty much doing everything by myself, I would even havre to beg him for money for grocery's. Well this past labor day he had been out all night partying and came home drunk at 2 in the afternoon, so ofcourse I was mad. Well he got mad that i was mad and hit me in my face, in front of our daughter, and I am almost 9 months along at this time. He left, and the police were called , they took a report and photos of my black eye. Well I was not aware that the custody order was still in effect , so he and his parents tried to contact me to get the visitation. I spoke to the county attorney and several other abuse advocates and they all informed me that I didn't have to follow through with if I wasnt comfortable and since he was arrested for physical abuse. Today I had to go to court for the protection order and before court started I was served with papers to be in court on the 29th for being in contempt for not following the custody order, and the papers said I left after a verbal argument, nothing about him hitting ofcourse, but i have the report and the pictures to prove it. I was granted my protection order but the judge today didn't really give me a chance to explain anything, so he said I had to follow the old custody arrangement. I am not comfortable at all even though it is to be supervised by his mother, but his father abuses his mother all the time and he tried to run me off the road the last time I was in town, he wants to see his grandkids so bad but he could have killed me and my unborn child which is his grand child. I have no money for an attorney, I had to quit my job because of the pregnancy awhile ago, so I guess I am just wondering what I can do. I tried the legal aide thing but they can;t do anything until after my court date. If anyone has any advice I would greatly appreciate it.
Thank you.

(((HUGS)))
I don't understand why legal aide can't help you until *after* your court date. I just used legal aide myself (and was even granted a continuance by the judge when the legal aide's lawyer who handles PFAs was on vacation the week of my initial hearing). It was free for me. The legal aide lawyer that I used said that if I was sued for custody and/or served divorce papers that he would handle that as well for me for free, and he has many, many cases that he is working on currently.
Have you contacted your county's legal/systems advocate? I did that as well as having my legal aide lawyer - the advocate went with me to the initial hearing and then the one that was after that as per the continuance. And actually I have to call the advocate on Wednesday for her to help me again with some things.
So I guess I need more information before I can help you. But I do want to help. :)
~Me
Hi Stevie -
Please call your local shelter or the National DV Hotline @ 800-799-SAFE (7233) and ask them for information regarding legal rep and stress that it is a bit of an emergency, that you need to have someone to go to court with you on 10/29 on a custody issue.
CL-Blueliner4