Need advice/emotional abuse

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-05-2003
Need advice/emotional abuse
3
Tue, 05-18-2004 - 4:38pm
My SO is emotionally abusive to me. For some reason, after the birth of my daughter in January I had an "awakening" and realized that the problem wasn't me...it was him. He got physical with me once, but I found out that i'm actually stronger than him and ended up hurting him more than he hurt me. As a result, he hasn't tried it again..lol. I am MOST DEFINITELY leaving him, I refuse to let my daughter be raised in this emotionally abusive enviornment, but it seems as though I won't be able to financially do it until August or September. I was just looking for any advice on how to "counteract" or "deflect" his behavior. I've been so docile for so long, I guess i'd like to give him a taste of his own medicine before leaving him (like he's been threatening to do to me for so long).

Mind you, I have NO FEAR of this man physically. All these years he has used emotional tactics to control me, like threatening to leave me (being alone is a big fear of mine), criticizing me (how I look, dress, cook, clean, parent, etc.), calling me names, blaming me for his infidelity...all the classic symptoms. So playing a head-game or two of my own before I shock him by actually LEAVING HIM would just be for my own satisfaction.

TIA!

Amanda

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2003
Tue, 05-18-2004 - 8:06pm
HI I am new here to and in a emotionally staining relationship, other that saying I understand and wish you luck I can't really offer advice I am not good at playing the games nor at paybacks but someone mentioned to me to look in to shelters, or do you have friends or family that you could stay with. I know that it is hard to ask for help but if you don't want to do it for you do it for your daughter( I know I am oned to talk, it is easier to give advice than to live it)

Good luck to you

LJ
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Tue, 05-18-2004 - 8:14pm

Hi Astarte, and welcome -


Playing headgames or "getting revenge" like that generally isn't recommended because it can backlash and cause more problems and could potentially injure you.

CL-Blueliner4

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2003
Wed, 05-19-2004 - 1:12am

Welcome to the board, astarte502.

Peace and hugs,

Cheryl =)

The minute you settle for less than you