Need book recommendations. :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2004
Need book recommendations. :)
3
Thu, 01-27-2005 - 11:49pm

Hey ya'll. :)


I'm about to finish "Why does he DO that", by Lundy Bancroft. I'd like another book recommendation. I know some were mentioned in the past here but I can't seem to find time to look them up, so I thought I'd ask incase someone knew them offhand. As most of you know, I'm going through the healing process and I am not with the person I consider to be abusive anymore and I haven't been since September. We are getting divorced (our 90 day waiting period passed over the weekend) and I won't be getting back together with him. Ever. I enjoy reading books that help me to become a whole person and that help me to gain insight with regard to domestic violence and how it affects the abused partner.


So... can anyone list some books that I should read, or that you think I should read next? I'd like one to get here before I finish this one. I'm really, really excited to be healing and I can feel the positive things that are coming from me reading the book I am now. It is amazing what perceptions I have gained just by reading. And I am beyond sure that I'll have to read this one again and again and again to get all the meaning and to absorb ALL the information. But I want a new book in the meantime.


And to everyone who posts here, ya'll are worth a mate who will treat you like the queens you are. I understand that sometimes men can have off days but it's how they react to them that makes all the difference in the world.


(((Hugs)))


~Me

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Fri, 01-28-2005 - 12:17am

Well, welcome back!


The only book coming to me off the top of my head that would work for your situation is "Verbal Abuse Survivors Speak Out" by Patricia Evans.

CL-Blueliner4

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2003
Fri, 01-28-2005 - 10:50pm

Hi!

Right now I am reading Controlling People by Patricia Evans
It gives you alot of good psychological reasons why some people control and why others do not. It's helping me quite a bit. I have alot of family members with this problem as well as my h---lucky me huh??!! lol

Good Luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2005
Sun, 01-30-2005 - 10:20am

Hi! Congratulations! You sound like you are really moving forward in a positive direction!

I have seen several books by Patricia Evans in the bookstore that look good.

Currently, I'm reading "The Emotionally Abused Woman" by Beverly Engel, MFCC. I am finding it to be very helpful. Ms. Engel was both emotionally and sexually abused in her past, so I've found that she can put the complicated feelings that I could not express into words based on her experience. The book is divided into 4 parts. Parts 1 and 2 describe the psychological patterns found in abused women as well as their partners, which you'd probably find interesting if you liked Lundy Bancroft's book. Part 3 probably wouldn't apply to you- it's about deciding whether to stay or go, and how to do it. But Part 4 is about the healing process after abuse, which sounds like something that applies to your situation.

Also, she has a book entitled "Encouragements for the Emotionally Abused Woman". I haven't read it personally, but you might want to check into it.

Best of luck to you!