In Need of help for a friend

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2001
In Need of help for a friend
5
Wed, 05-04-2011 - 1:22pm

First off

Avatar for cajunharmony
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2001
Wed, 05-04-2011 - 2:12pm

Hi Stina, first of all I would like to thank you for being there for your friend.

Mama Harmony

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2011
Wed, 05-04-2011 - 2:39pm
First of all..."First off I want to start off by sayin how truely sorry I amfor all of you and the postions you all find yourself in" is really offensive. I'm sorry, and I don't mean to completely get off on a tangent here, but speaking for myself... I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me and there is no need for someone to feel sorry for me. I think we are all stronger people than we would be otherwise and you should feel proud of each and every person on this board for seeking help, seeking support, and speaking out.

Second, direct her to a domestic violence org to get some help. They will be able to develop a case plan and walk her through the steps of getting counseling, legal help, financial support, a safety plan, etc.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2001
Wed, 05-04-2011 - 7:09pm

I do not belive I said I felt sorry for any of you or my friend. In fact i

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2001
Wed, 05-04-2011 - 7:37pm

cajunharmony, So much info to take in! Thanks so much! I am going to start on this for her without delay.We do know for a fact that he will be in jail for a while.We called the jail the other day and they told us that he had seen the judge and he will be there until such and such day.I understand the whole thing with supporting her and decisions she makes.I know I need to stand by her even when i might not agree.I told her that if she wanted to bail him out I would be more than willing to watch the kids so they could talk.Even though I think she needs to leave his butt in jail.The best part is she just lives a few blocks from me. Our kids all go to the same schools and i drive our older kids home everyday so I do make

Avatar for queen_brat
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 05-04-2011 - 8:26pm

They are great actors and can fool most people. I have friends who were shocked after meeting my ex of the things he has done. I only have known of one person who saw right though him the first time she met him.

I really hope she does not bail him out of jail. From all that you have posted he needs to stay in there forever. But it is not up to us it is up to her and sadly victims have to deal with stuff like this when we are not always emotionally able to. I agreed to me my ex husband getting a slap on the wrist because I didnt feel up to dealing with it at the time. If I could do it now there is no way I would ever agree to it! I don't think the victim should be allowed to bail the abuser out because we are not always thinking clearly.

I was lucky that my children wanted him in jail and far away from me so I did not have to deal with them missing dad or wanting him to come home.


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