Need opinions please.....

Avatar for prissyturtle
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2003
Need opinions please.....
Sun, 11-07-2010 - 9:42pm

Since August when my son went to live with his dad, I have not forced the issue of him coming to my house every other weekend, not because I don't love and and I don't want him to spend time with me.....He has just started high school and I realize this is an important time in his life and it will help him form and mold him into the person he is and will become in the future.

Avatar for winter2007
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2006
Mon, 11-08-2010 - 1:10am

I am a bit confused. You say "I have discovered that when he is here, he removes things from the house that have been purchased for his use while he is here.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2000
Mon, 11-08-2010 - 4:21pm

Could the "stealing" be that dad is not providing the things he needs at home and so he feels the need to take what you provide so he can have what he needs? Could it be you are providing a better quality product that dad is unwilling to provide?...perhaps dont replace the items for him and when he comes over and needs some simply state "strange I bought that just ____ ago and you should not be out yet" you can then offer to purchase more and follow up with stating that for as frequently as he is at your home needing this product it needs to last ______ long and that you will not be buying any more before that time. Then if he takes it with him and "forgets" to bring it back with him he can do without or use an alternative option.

As for the Thanksgiving...that is so hard for a mom, especially when you dont get to be involved all of the time anyway. It sounds like he has voiced that the meets are more important to him than thanksgiving at his step family's home. Perhaps you can have Thanksgiving at your house either a couple of weeks before hand so he can be included, or perhaps after you get back he can come over for a special dinner with everyone.

Being a kid who was constantly accused of stealing things (whether guilty or not) it was easier to just take the blame and consequences than to try to defend myself and be punished anyway plus for my instinct is not to take his "confessions" to