Need some advice quickly

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Need some advice quickly
1
Sun, 11-28-2004 - 10:13pm

Hiya! Hope you are all doing great! my life has fallen completely apart in the last few days! Went and spent thanksgiving with my family after I visited the inlaws.. my dh stayed home alone because he was to busy drinking to go with me.. Well i guess he sat there thinking all day about me being gone and he knew where i was the whole time! Well he drank a whole lot and when I walked in he started yelling at me and dd so we left and went to his sisters.. well we stayed there a couple hours figuring he would pass out.. well he didnt and when we came home he started screaming and had thrown my dd tv and vcr out in the front yard so we put that in the car and he went out and threw it back into the yard. well he hit me a couple times and we have a pedestal fan in the bedroom and he threw it at me and i picked it up and threw it back.. well we left and he called the cops.. well we just drove around the block and when we pulled back in the cops were everywhere. well guess what.. they arrested me and him both because i threw the fan back but hell he wouldnt let me out of the bedroom. he hid the phone.. what was i supposed to do?!?! but the fan cut the back of his head and he had to get 5 staples and he ruptured my eardrum... this is his 2nd charge so it is felony. My mother and sister bonded me out but his family is not getting him out so he is still sitting in there. I am going crazy inside but doing a good job from hiding it from everyone because i dont want them to worry. We are going to try to get my charges dropped since it was self defence but not sure if that will work or not..

I have some lumps on my leg and i go to the surgeon tomorrow to schedule surgery to get them removed and biopsied so that is worrying me enough without all this on top of it. and the crazy thing is I still love him!!! he called his sister and told her how much he loves me and he is going to ask the judge to put him in a drug/alcohol rehab place that is here locally to get him the help to get sober and they also help deal with anger management and all that. i told her that i love him to but things have to change. His mom and dad wont accept his calls so I am sure he is going crazy in there but it gives him time to think things through.

Any suggestions? I am so scared it is crazy!! Im going to have to move.. we rent a house and i wont be able to afford it on my own.. our medical insurance is through his work so we will probably lose that... ugghh. im losing it... well thanks for listening! any advice is appreciated!!! :)
Hugs
Shell

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2004
Mon, 11-29-2004 - 9:39am

Dear Silinomore,

I also experience domestic violence. I read somwhere that it is addictive to become violent or to have arguments because when this happens bodies produce the same amount of adrealine as from drugs or alcohol. In time of argumennt it is becoming quite a plesurable and even extatic experience. Your husband's addiction is not just the buzz . Just a thought...