need to vent!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2005
need to vent!
6
Tue, 05-10-2005 - 1:04pm

Hello all! I really need to vent and your opinions are greatly apperciated. I did the post "when will it ever end" last week. So it has alot about the history between my dd dad and our past.

Well he calls me last night to tell me that his "new" gf of 4 months might be preggo. Now here is a lille history of what I know of her. She has a 5 1/2" yr old son. And she was living with her ds dad and she was sleeping with my x, and her ds dad kicked her out of their house because he found out about the affair and he keeped their son. Well he still won't give her their son so I went to womans law org like one of the posters told me, and I found out in the state of ohio (that's where we live) that an unmarried mother has full custody. Well I gave her the paperwork on friday and she still has made no attempt to get her kid she has an excuse after an excuse. Well I am getting upset because she is trying to be so motherly with my 7 .5 yr old daughter. And now I am thinking that she is only like that with my dd to look good infront of my dd dad.

Yesturday when I went to pick up my dd from her dads house , his gf was not there and he was on the phone cussing and screaming at her cause he said that she is acting very irresponsible about her kid,and that he does not agree with her not getting her son. My dd dad's roomate told me on Saturday that she will go visit her son and not come back until 1:00 in the morning and that Saturday morning while my dd dad was sleeping he heard someone knock at his door and she answered it and was trying to be quiet and it turned out it was her ds dad and he didn't have their son and he left before my dd dad got to the door.

My x doesn't even know who her x is and what I am wonering is how did he find out where my dd dad lives and it makes me upset because my dd is there alot.

Well after hearing them argue yesturday on the phone when I went to get my daughter, my x called me last night to tell me that she might be preggo. and me and him got in a huge fight over the phone, and he said some strange things to me that I don''t understand. He said that I probably had tons of abortions since him and I broke up(which isn't true, i've only been preggo 1 time.) Then he says like "oh yeah I know you have been sleeping with a*** for the past 4 mnths and your not on birthcontrol.(which that is not correct eaither, Andy is a guy that my dd dad knows and he likes me but we are just friends, I haven't even sleeped with no one for over 6mnths., and I have been on birthcontrol since 1997 but I just got off 3 weeks ago cause I am moving and saving money to move and I am not sleeping with no one and that was why I got off the birthcontrol and I am getting back on after I move the 1st of june) Well why would he say that. He told me he hates me and he wishes I would die. So we hung up on each other and he called me back like 10 mins later in a calmer voice. I was trying to tell him I am not jelouse and not trying to get in his business, but We do share a child and things that he does in his life can effect my dd and therefore I am in it. You know what I mean.

Any advise or comments a greatly apperciated.

Thanks

-michelle

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2004
Tue, 05-10-2005 - 1:28pm
It's nice that you went and got her that info from womens law. But it's exactly like you said, her child is not her priority. Her priority is thinking of herself and running around with different men, while pawning her child off on some one else. Even if she told you she wanted her child back, it was just talk to make herself look better, she had no true desire to have her child with her. If I was in that situation, I would distance myself from those two. You aren't really getting anything out of it, except namecalling and being told you are basically a slut that's running around having abortions every year. If you have to talk to him, just hang up on him the minute he says the slightest thing that's insulting or abusive, you don't need that crap. Also, I'm not sure if I understood correctly, but she came to his house and made a lot of noise at 1 am while your child was there? Children need a good night rest, not to go to sleep wondering when they'll get woken up in the middle of the night by the crazy adults around them. I would consider limiting your daughter's time over there too if possible.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2005
Tue, 05-10-2005 - 1:37pm

In my opinion, and this is going to be quite straight forward,...you have helped your friend by giving her the paperwork and showing what she can do to get sole custody of her kid.

5yrssm 
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Tue, 05-10-2005 - 1:59pm

Hey Sassy -


I understand your wanting your DD to have a relationship with the man who fathered her, but just because he donated to get her here does not make him a father.

CL-Blueliner4

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2005
Tue, 05-10-2005 - 4:16pm

Thanks for your reply. No she didn't come to my house at 1:00am , see she lives with my dd dad and she will go see her ds dad to visit her son and she doesn't come back home (where her and my dd dad lives) until 1:00am sometimes.

I agree, I wish I could stay away as much as I can but I have to pick my daughter up at her dads house everyday when I get off work. It's so frustrating. Thanks so much for replying.

-Michelle

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2005
Tue, 05-10-2005 - 4:21pm

LOL!!!! you are so funny. I cracked up when you said blow the whistle. I think I have to get one of those!lol!

The crazy thing is that she is not my friend, she is my dd dad's new gf. And it was pissing me off that she was being all lovey dovey with my dd when my dd was there. I feel don't try to be motherly towrds my child when you already have a child and don't even care if you have him. And now she is saying that she might be preggo. According to my x she is supposed to find out today.

Thanks
-Michelle

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2005
Tue, 05-10-2005 - 4:34pm

Thanks for your reply.

I know that this whole situation is going to get worse. Within a matter of time this is going to get ugly. Like he tried to tell me last night that he has way more money than me and he has alot of lawyers (he's been in and out of trouble alot) and that he can take my dd from me. I didn't even say anything to him about it because I know he can't take her. I don't care how much money he has no judge will give him custody of her. He has a list full of felony's , drug possesion, drug trafficing, dv against me, and child endagerment (because he beat me up in front of our daughter) now tell me honestly what judge will give him sole custody. Here's me, been at the same job for 6.5 yrs, never been arrested, never been in trouble, and supporting my child and me and lived on our own for 5 yrs and never been evicted from a apartment nothing. I know all he is doing is trying to threaten me, and I am not going to tell him what I just told you cause as soon as he tries anything he is going to find out that he will not get a judge to grant him custody.

Thanks a bunch

-Michelle