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|Thu, 04-28-2011 - 11:44am|
As I type this, I hear everyone saying that I should not have contacted him. Let me say though, that things had stalled & the lawyers weren't as aggressive as I needed them to be. And I can't afford to change attorneys now. Anyway, the conversation went okay.
Here is the thing. He says that he sees that he can be a better person now. I asked him why now when I had to leave and spent this money? He says he doesn't know. I reminded him of the times that I begged him to stop doing something or asked him why things were like they were or point blank told him that I was unhappy. He said he didn't realize it was that bad. I said me sobbing to the point of getting sick didn't seem bad. Nothing, no answer.
He knows I am going to counseling and wanted to know if it is helping. I told him that it was helping me and that my counselor would not see him because of the situation. I even threw in the words "emotional abuse" and did not get a response from him. He wants to go to counseling now either apart or together to work on things. Now he wants to go. Before he didn't even want me to go, because he didn't want others to know our problems.
He said that he didn't have a problem. But, then he said that if there was a problem it was that he loved me too much. He said it is possible to love someone too much. He didn't want to get a call saying that I was dead. He said that. He said that he could not face the idea of losing me. Should I be scared? He also said that he use to wake up at night and watch me sleep to make sure I was okay.
Oh, there is so much I could say, but I have to go. Please post some replies. You are good people and have helped me work through this. Let me add, that I don't have the same feelings for him as I once did. I know I could not be a wife to him, but the guilt and wondering bothers me some. Thanks again.