Needing Some Support Desperately

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2011
Needing Some Support Desperately
6
Fri, 06-17-2011 - 9:20am

I've mentioned before that I write a blog. On there, I've discussed alot of my experiences both during times of extreme violence and in recovery. Over the last few days, a group of people have latched on to one of my posts, detailing the first time I really tried to seek help to get away from my ex-husband and how that help was denied. They read in between the lines claiming that it is pro-abortion, which is such a stretch from the truth that is not even funny.

I tried to reason with this people, but now I keep getting battered with comments and other websites critisizing me from saying that I could not possibly really be a vicitm of abuse because of x, y, and z. And, they have gone so far as to say that I am not really a person, but my blog is entirely made up just to promote some pro-abortion agenda, because I write anonymously. I tried to explain that it is becuase I am scared the my ex-husband or an equally abusive ex-boyfriend would be angry and try to hurt me and my kids, if I wrote under my real name, but none of this is getting through to them.

I feel so alone and completely distresses. This topped with some other very stressful things going on in my personal life right now has sent me over the edge, acting as trigger for my PTSD pretty terribly. I don't know what to do. I want to ignore these people, but I just can't. Why do some people think it's ok to make me feel like I am right back in that position of asking for help and being told it's my own fault?

Here is a link to some of the things being said about me in the comments sections: http://open.salon.com/blog/tellingtosca/2011/06/15/on_being_disected_the_pregnancy_cult_reaction_1,

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Fri, 06-17-2011 - 9:30am

Hi;

wow; why not just take down the blog and get rid of it and all of the stuff on there that is making you upset. Just dont write nor deal with it anymore. Do away with it all .

I am sorry but when you display your life out there anonymous or not like on facebook or social networks you are going to get crazy people and crazy stuff and crazy responses no matter what. We are all open books and targeted for attack when we put our lives out there for the world to see.

You know this world is filled with bad and good people and you have come across some not so good people so forget them and surround yourself with good people who will uplift you and make you feel good about you.

You seem to need more help in order for you to heal. have you searched out all you can to keep healing and move forward?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2011
Fri, 06-17-2011 - 10:17am
This is going to sound so stupid. But in the time I've written about my experiences, I've never felt so healed. It's been cathartic and supportive (up until this last week) and I hate to take such a big step backwards by going "back into hiding." I love being able to share what happened and hear back from women who are getting out or have had similar experiences. It's made me feel, well... proud of myself and strong. I hate to give that up.

I've been through tons of counseling and have had my triggers relatively controlled for nearly two years now. This is the first really bumpy path I've crossed, and I'm having trouble dealing with it.

Do you really think it would be better to just take it all down?
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Fri, 06-17-2011 - 12:20pm

Hi;

well? If you are having panic attacks or whatever and its affecting you so badly then If I were you I would take it down. I am not you and I cannot tell you what to do.If its affecting your ptsd then its not good..

You can always put it back up right? You can always go to a different forum or board or other blog and start over right?That way the smoke clears and you can start over and be helpful again.

What about a safer place to do this or vent or whatever.

What about volunteering in a domestic violence shelter or place where women need real help .? just saying.No one there will judge you or hurt you I dont think?

Only you can decide how much pain and anquish you can take.. and decide what is the best course of action.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009
Fri, 06-17-2011 - 1:08pm

I get the "catharsis" of putting it on paper!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2011
Fri, 06-17-2011 - 2:38pm
I think doing just that is a very good idea. I just need some distance to get some perspective and really to just chill out. Everything around me feels so tense right now. I'm having issues with everything from my in-laws to work to my pregnancy, and I've just reached my limit. It's time for a vacation.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2000
Fri, 06-17-2011 - 5:15pm

This could be a chance to start finding your strength within yourself. Frankly these people are ignorant people who have nothing better to do than focus on revictimizing people. Think about that church that feels they are entitled to protest at people's funerals. Never mind the trauma they are inflicting on the people who are mourning their loss...just an opportunity to rub salt into the open wounds. They do not deserve any more time or room in your mind than your abuser does. You have a right to process anywhere you feel is effective to your healing. If it is possible, just start blocking those people so they can no longer access your blog. delete their post of bologna and lift them in prayer that God will have mercy on them for the poor choices they are making.