needing to vent!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2003
needing to vent!!!
1
Mon, 04-26-2004 - 12:46pm
i don't know where to begin .... as i sit here i feel unsure of my feelings. last week i went to the conseling intake meeting and the therapist named me "co dependent" ( i kind of already knew that somewhat) and on a road towards deep clinical depression. my ex is basically the reason i am like this. with his addiction and his both physical and verbal abuse . i just can't keep him out of my head. i sit here trying to think of all the awlful sh*t he has done and try my hardest to hate his guts but i can't get mad. i find myself drifting back to feeling like i lost my one and only true love. that is the part that makes me sick the most!! why do i feel like that ?? how come i think that all of the good and worst of all the bad things he has done constitute for love??? i just don't know . yesterday my sister told me he called her house (she was out with me) and i found myself asking her "did he leave a message???" like i was anxious he called. i didnt realize what i was doing until my sister yelled "who cares!!!!" i just can not wait until tommorrow when i go to therapy so i can start talking to someone and letting an outsider give their insight or evaluation on what the hell is wrong with me!! well i just felt more comfortable venting here than anywhere else. thanks for listening(reading.)

hugs,

trisha
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Mon, 04-26-2004 - 1:37pm

Hey Trish -


You have to look at it this way - you've only been out a couple weeks at this point and you are having to start this silly process all over again.

CL-Blueliner4