New to this and need some advice

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2006
New to this and need some advice
3
Sat, 02-25-2006 - 3:14am
I am new to this, My Daugther got married Oct. of 2005, before she got married her and her two children lived with me. I am close to both my grand children and the 6 year old tell's me everything. He tell's me that his mommy and her husband fuss and fight all of the time, when I ask her about it she denies it. He started getting whippings for telling me stuff, so I stopped asking her anything. I can tell a big differnce in the actions of my grand children. It is turning to violence. my grandson will walk by and push my 2 1/2 year old granddagther down. He say's that is how boys are supposed to treat girls. They have never been around any violence before, so I can't figure how he can come up with the stories that he tells me if he hasn't seen it. My daugther will come to my mothers house and pick up the children after work and leave as soon as she can, she never just comes for a visit. And we have never been invited to their home. in fact she didn't even tell me where their house was, I got out and found where it was at. So can anyone please tell me how I can find out if she is being abused and what I can do about it. From some of the stories that I have been told I fear for my grandchildren, they can't help themself's. PLEASE HELP!
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2004
Sat, 02-25-2006 - 11:39am

Sadly, you can't. :( What you can do is this. If she is in fact being abused, what the abuser wants to do is to drive away all her friends and family, so that he can do what he likes. Be the one who refuses to go away. Keep in contact with her, and let her know you are there for her. Let her know that anything bad he is doing is not OK. Eventually, she will get sick of it, and that is when she will need you.

Unfortunately, there's no good, easy way to get to the bottom of matters- she may even deny it if asked straight out. However, if she knows you are always there, the time that she's sick of it may come more quickly.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2005
Sat, 02-25-2006 - 6:09pm

Big hugs to you, suzy.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2004
Sat, 02-25-2006 - 6:27pm
Somehow I missed the part about the daughter possibly hitting the kids. Yes, absolutely, if this is the case, then the children have to be seen to before anything else. This is where Childrens' Services or whoever comes in; children absolutely should not be punished for telling about abuse.
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