New to board, Feeling Scared
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New to board, Feeling Scared
| Wed, 08-25-2004 - 11:24am |
I'm scared that you guys are going to think I'm whining and that nothing's wrong. After reading some articals this morning I'm pretty sure that my husband is verbally abusive, but most of the time he's fine. Once every month or two he'll get really mad and say a whole bunch of horrible stuff, and then he's sweet and wonderful and it's like nothing ever happened. But I'm scared because I think he's on the verge of getting physically abusive. Last night everything was going just fine. Then he reached over and touched me and I jumped back laughingly and said No. I thought he was playing around. Then he kind of attacked me, held me down and did stuff to me. I don't have any bruises even though I fought and I kept saying no, loudly but not yelling. Nothing he did really hurt, it was just against my will. He didn't even force sex, just touching. After he was done I started crying and shaking and I couldn't stop. He just looked over with a bored look on his face, and asked me if I knew how annoying it was to hear me cry all the time. Then he asked for a glass of ice water. I didn't get it for him. I just laid curled up in the bed and tried not to make any noise or movement while I cried. I was terrified. I was raped once 4 years ago by my ex-husband and this brought back huge memories. I have barely slept and had several nightmares. I'm at work now and I'm trying not to cry at my desk. Halfway through the night he rolls over and holds me all sweet and tender, and he's nice all morning. Not even overly nice like he's trying to make up for something. Just nothing ever happened and we're always happy nice. Am I crazy? Will this get worse. I want it to disappear. I've been happy almost the entire 2 years we've been together. What do I do?
Signatures On
| Wed, 08-25-2004 - 11:54am |
I responded to your last post and di not read this one before. I am really going to encourage you now to call the national DV hotline. i hate to say it but it will get worse. I am sorry what he has done to you. My Abuser has done similiar things to me. He is all mean to where he is hitting me and screaming terrible names to me and later wants to hold me. The thought of it just repulses me. Please stay safe. Is ther family you can turn to for support. Keep us posted and good luck!
| Wed, 08-25-2004 - 12:05pm |
I have family in town, but there are no extra bedrooms. I know they would let me stay with them. But I feel dumb. You know if he hit me and I had a bruise to show, or something broken I would feel justified. But as far as anyone knows, my marriage is good, and most of the time it is. But I'm scared now. I'm considering putting one of my siblings on alert and asking them to stay quiet, and I'm thinking about getting together a hidden emergancy fund of money so I can get out anytime I need to. I feel like I'm overreacting if I leave. Am I in denial? I just thought my marriage was good but bumpy less then 24 hours ago.
| Wed, 08-25-2004 - 12:08pm |
Did you get out? How long did it take you? You seem so strong. Is there a way I can confront him? Should I see a counselor before I do anything drastic?
| Wed, 08-25-2004 - 12:18pm |
Unfourtantley I am still with my Abuser, what we are going through now is what i call the honeymoon phase. i have left 5 times already and have plans to leave him for good as soon as I have enough money. BUT if it does get worse between now and then I will leave. Please confide in your sister don't be embaressed at all none of this is your fault and you are not over reacting at all. What he has done to you is horrible and no one should have to go through what these men put us through. I have a freat support system, friends family and this board has helped me A LOT. I have been reading a lot of books on Domestic Abuse. I never thoght this would happen to me and I always said I would leave immediatley if i was ever hit by a guy, and her I am still with him. Good luck to you keep on posting if you need to I am here and so are others.
| Wed, 08-25-2004 - 12:44pm |
Thanks, I'm feeling so much calmer. I'm sorry you've had such a hard time. What has happened to me is so little compared to what you've been through. I am going to start saving money now, just in case. Thanks for your support. I'll keep posting. A trusted teacher at school just e-mailed to see if everything is ok. I missed school last night because of this. This teacher was a counselor at a DV place for 3 or 4 years, and knows both me and my husband. I believe I can trust him to help me and not alert my husband. Thank you so much for your help. I can't tell you how much it meant to me that someone responded to my message. I felt so alone. Thanks again, God Bless.
| Wed, 08-25-2004 - 12:56pm |
Your on the right track now! Good luck and god bless! You can do it! Be safe!
| Wed, 08-25-2004 - 4:45pm |
Thanks Sweetie, You too.
