New Here

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2004
New Here
4
Tue, 11-23-2004 - 12:15am

I am new here, as I have discovered I may be in an abusive situation.

A while back, I lost everything--career, home--everything, and moved back home to live with my parents (I am in my thirties, mind you). Growing up, I dealt their with physical and severe emotional/verbal abuse. So I have landed right back in hell.

Things never came easily for me. I can't seem to get my life straight no matter how hard I try. I know you can't blame your childhood and teen years for your adulthood, but sometimes, I sit down and wonder.... My family blames me. After all, we are a "nice, middle-class" family. I brought out the worst in everyone.

I am so tired and sad. I can't seem to find a job, and feel too stupid to hold one down. I am so lonely, and friends are hard to keep. I think I look for love I never felt, and I guess my neediness is prevelant to other people.

I am so ashamed. I would go to a shelter, but I hear such horror stories about those places. I would probably end up feeling worse about myself. I wish I could find a safe place to heal and renew myself.

Any suggestions, or kind words would be nice.

Zin

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2003
In reply to: zingara11
Tue, 11-23-2004 - 11:25am

Unfortunately, you've dealt with the kind of abuse that there is no escaping from -- and that's the abuse from parents.

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2004
In reply to: zingara11
Wed, 11-24-2004 - 1:23am

Thanks for the kind and practical advice, Tracy.

I especially found that last bit inspiring. You said I should cut my ties, or at least reduce the time spent, with my family, as they offer me so little emotionally. They are currently supporting me financially, which is great, but it isn't everything. So, if I may be so catty, it would be lovely to see their faces when I move out, rarely to be seen again.

I am taking action. I am scared, don't know if I can hack it. I feel like an idiot, but I will try.

Thank you,
Zingara

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
In reply to: zingara11
Wed, 11-24-2004 - 3:32pm
If you need to talk Im here. I will pray for you. I made it out of my abusive situation and believe me, if I can do it--so can you :) I remember feeling helpless and ashamed but you are always welcome to talk about it here or with me. It really does help knowing that people are here for you. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: zingara11
Wed, 11-24-2004 - 10:32pm
zingara...a lot of the shelters are really nice and very well run these days, so be sure to check

When someone shows you who they are, believe them.

- Maya Angelou