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| Mon, 05-02-2005 - 8:03pm |
I was discharged from my counseling today. My therapist said that I did not belong there. Yes, I had been betrayed and yes there was an affair. She explained to me that the affair was passive aggression of the worst kind and pointed out how we arrived at the point at which we are now.
She referred us to the Domestic Violence Intervention Center. My H can go if he wishes. I have already called for any appt. There is one meeting alone with the counselor for assessment and then it is group therapy after that. There are separate groups for men and woman.
At any rate, I never related the lies, deception, witholding emotions, not answering questions for any length of time he chose etc. etc. to domestic violence. Where can I learn more about this?
Thank you,
Susan

Hi Susan, welcome -
I understand you being referred to the DV center, but your H?
CL-Blueliner4
Welcome to the board Susan...
First of all, I have to day that when it comes down to DV, we always suggest to not go to counseling together because the abuser will manipulate the victim and turn their words around making them out to be the bad person, which is not true.
Thank you for your advise and suggestions. I am going on Thurs. for an evaluation with the therapist. I am asuming that the male group is for batterers. They are seperate, we would not be going together. This is if he agrees to go. Being that this is a Domestic Violence Intervention Center, I believe this person would know what he is doing and if I belong there.
I need a greater understanding. I have done everything I could all our married life to keep the peace. In the early years, he was physical with me and the children. That, however, stopped a long time ago. What he does, when he does not want to discuss something with you, is to scream and shout insults at you. One can not converse in those circumstances. So, naturally, you stop the discussion and become very selective as to what you are going to say next. Just keep it benign. The other thing he does, is goes off on his own. It might be just locking himself up with his computer or it might be having an affair. He calls it his "ego massage". She said all the right things.
What do you think?
I know exactly what you mean.
CL-Blueliner4