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|Tue, 04-19-2011 - 10:18am|
I will try to keep this as brief as possible. Everyone here knows the details and issues that goes on in a bad relationship. My problem right now is that I am having a hard time making myself understand that it wasn't my fault and that it was a bad relationship. I have been married for 14 years to an emotional/sexual abusive man. There has always been something bad happen even during the "suppose to be fun" times. He has never hit me, but became verbally abusive when I started letting him know that I was unhappy. Long story short, I got scared one night, because of his body language and his words so I left. I went back a few days later to get some clothes for work and he had changed the locks. He never told me he changed them. Needless to say, changing the locks made my mind up to file for a divorce. (I had left a couple of times for a couple of days, but kept going back until I had an nervous breakdown). He said, "He knew that I knew he changed the locks and that I should have asked him about it, he didn't have to tell me". I am seeing a very good Christian Counselor, but wanted to hear from others that have lived through it.
I said this was going to be short, but I guess not. Do you come to a time where you understand that it wasn't your fault? The silent treatments, the hiding of all the finanical information including how much money we had, the only having sex when and how he wanted it. Is that not normal? I really need some assurance and guidance, please.