Newest and log in problems to the max.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2004
Newest and log in problems to the max.
Wed, 05-29-2013 - 1:17pm

I didn't know if anyone was here anymore, but have been needing to post and been unable to log in.


We finally got our order about 2 weeks ago from December. He still  has unsupervised visitation but the boys are allowed a choice in whether they go with him or not.

He did not schedule the first week, and then failed to call our place of exchange to set the appointment. I got a nasty email from him on Saturday, blaming me for him missing his visitation, amongst a lot of other terrible things.

He got his Sunday visitation, but my oldest chose not to go. My youngest went. When he came home he was happy and in a good mood (I was thankful) but he is really chatty when he is in a good mood. So he went on and on about how they went house hunting and how Dad (and his wife) told my youngest they were looking for a bigger house, so he and his brother could have thier own rooms when they came back to live with them, Ugh. And so it starts. He went for the kill right away. The manipulation kills me. He also bought him lots of birthday presents because his birthday was monday, but he wasn't allowed to bring them home. He can only play with them when he comes back to Dads. (manipulation).


I feel a sense of danger now. Looking over my shoulder. It's terrible.


Community Leader
Registered: 10-22-2001
Thu, 06-06-2013 - 9:08am


I am so sorry that you are going through this...

It reminded me so much of what I went through with my "Abusive" ex-husband...:(...

It is good that you can see and are aware of the manipulation...

He is using your youngest like a pawn...he knew exactly what he was up to...

Kids are not stupid, they will get it if they haven't done so already...

My heart goes out to you, I hated that feeling, still do...

He is still trying to be Controlling...but he has no Control...he is losing it and he knows it...

Just hang in there...

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-15-2013
Fri, 06-21-2013 - 9:32am

Update yesterday.

A couple weeks ago, the Dads wife passed her DV assesment. I was so distraught. I thought if she was able to, he was able to.

I got word yesterday that he did not. He also got angry with the assesor and refused the treatment recommendation, and said he would contact his attorney.


A victory, for us for sure. A bit of a ligher load on my shoulders.