News Flash! Saw STBX & he was NICE ...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
News Flash! Saw STBX & he was NICE ...
8
Thu, 03-31-2005 - 7:03pm

Not that i EXPECT that to continue, but it was nice for the moment, lol.


So, this is what happened. 1st off, the RO is still in effect - he cannot come here, call here or my workplace, & he is still "restrained & enjoined from molesting, harrassing or otherwise interfering" with me. Given the fact that we will have to see eachother at visitation pick up & drop off (which hasnt been requested at this point since the incident at that 1st & last visit) - today

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Thu, 03-31-2005 - 7:34pm

Well, I'm glad it went well, but R...that was an enormous breach of the RO.

CL-Blueliner4

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2004
Thu, 03-31-2005 - 7:48pm

ITA.

I just wrote out something I wanted to say, but I don't think it came out right so I deleted it. I've BTDT on so many levels, and there IS one thing I can say that you ALL advised me to do months and months ago.

HAVE NO CONTACT.

And it did take me awhile to get to that point - to the point where I understood just what those three words can do and bring.

It's a wonderous thing.

:)

With kids, I realize that contact is going to happen. And it's going fine. STBX isn't able to utilize parenting time on his weekends because social events keep coming up for him (we won't say how I feel about that...). But I do call him to ask him if he's going to utilize them. We're on an every other weekend rotation. This weekend is his and he has already told me (in a literal 60 second phone conversation) that he can't get them. And then I know what plans I can make with them and with my work schedule wrt daycare provider. If he wants to call the kids, he can. If I call him to ask him about weekends, 9 times out of 10 my call goes to the voicemail and I leave a sincere message.

I figure that whatever STBX wants to do or show his kids, he is free to do that (as long as it's a safe thing, yadda yadda) on his own time, with no input from me b/c that's his time to parent.

R, I'm really pullin' for ya, and I know you can do this, and I know you'll get through this. My ultimate unasked for advice is NO CONTACT. :)

(((HUGGLES TO ALL)))

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Thu, 03-31-2005 - 8:05pm

My atty said it wouldnt be in violation of the order ... that the language in the RO is to keep HIM from violating it by harassment, coming to my property, theratening, etc & me from enticing him into acting - but my bringing her to see him, even IF i stayed for the visit in his prescence (although i didnt usually b/c of the supervision by someone else) would not be breaking it. He said to be sure anything i did like that was in a public place to show i wont be with him alone. That i should NEVER let him onto out property, in my car, or be at his home, etc.


Thanks for the heads up - i will be careful.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Thu, 03-31-2005 - 8:07pm

ANY advice is asked for when i come here, really.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2004
Thu, 03-31-2005 - 8:24pm
Expect him to be super nice and on his best behavior. This is a very critical point in your divorce process. He knows you are working on that settlement.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Fri, 04-01-2005 - 8:17am
Yes, & i will get what i can while this likely short time lasts! I will NOT back off or give in to anything i feel isnt fair or that he doesnt deserve. Thats a promise! Thanks

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2004
Fri, 04-01-2005 - 12:19pm
You went through months of high stress but it is almost over. He backed down quick. I'm really suprised he didn't fight for at least shared parental rights. He's smart, knows he wouldn't get very far trying to fight. You are very lucky. I fought mine for 3 yrs. Your divorce should be final within 2 months.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Fri, 04-01-2005 - 1:00pm
Dont jump the gun - he hasnt signed anything. He hasnt even SEEN it yet. It goes to his atty today. I sure HOPE he lets us settle .... i highly doubt it though.

R~

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