NewsFlash..
Find a Conversation
| Sat, 08-26-2006 - 5:02pm |
Who wants to hear about my day of he**?
It all started this moening ...I like to go to yard sales on Saturday morning , and of course I HAD to take his cell with me (juat in case ya know ) ,anyhow ,I got chewed out bc I left it in te car he says " its NOT a car phone ,it fits in your pocket!"
Then ,I had to go pick him up from hos dads bc he was heping him work on his truck or something ,and he kept calling and calling ,saying hurry up,im ready to go ...so I hurried ....Then when I got there he made me sit in the drive way for 20 minutes bc he wasnt ready yet ....so naturally I was upset about that ....So I asked him why he made me wait ,and he said "why dont you go get on the internet and tell your boyfriends about it "
we fought all the way home ,and he started telling me that whenever he walks in the room I click real fast and get out of my chatrooms (I dont go into chatrooms),I asked him if he had a dream about that ,bc I didnt do it ....so we fought and he cussed F this and F that ,in fromt of our kids ..yelling and screaming ....and making absolutley no sense at all ....He said " you know that this is all bc of your problems ,this has nothing to do with me ,your hair is falling out bc you have some kind of disease ,I said yeah and its name is YOU!!!!!"so when we got home I told him I wanted him to leave ,and I was gona call the cops if he didnt ,he said " I f'ing dare you " I said fine , so I picked up the phone ,he starts punching the base,I had the reciever in my hand ,I try to put it down and my hand "got in the way " and he almost broke my finger ,he just kept punching ,with my hand there ..then he threw the garbage can at me ,and hit me in the head .(he didnt mean to *pout*
Now ,hes crying ,Im sorry ,never do it again ...give me one more chace , If it happens again I will leave ...promise ....
I am trying to start an online store selling through Ebay...I already have a good wholesaler,so I can get out of this mess ...I cant just leave ,or kick him out ,with no money and three kids to feed .I also cant go to a DV shelter bc my kids have school etc ...Thanks for Being here for me and letting me vent ..
Amber

Amber Girl..
I am sure you are very sick and tired of hearing this but you need to get out of this relationship. You need to get out for your sake and your childrens sake. I know that school is important, but they are very unsafe where they are. If they get put back a grade, or are late entering school - who cares. They are seeing what their parents are like and they will grow up like that thinking it is right - but it's not. You need to leave for yourself and your children. I know it will be very terrifying, but it really is the only choice. You cannot stay in this relationship.
It is so frustrating that he made you rush home, then you waited in the car for 20 minutes waiting for him!! AHHH!! He is obviously very upset about you and your other fake boyfriends. Believe me he will never get over that. He will be bringing that up in 5 years from now if you are still together.
" He said " you know that this is all bc of your problems ,this has nothing to do with me ,your hair is falling out bc you have some kind of disease ,I said yeah and its name is YOU!!!!! " I am so happy that you said that. I'm sure he doesn't believe you, but you are standing up for yourself. You do realize that he is the problem even if he doesn't accept it or take responsibility.
" Now ,hes crying ,Im sorry ,never do it again ...give me one more chace , If it happens again I will leave ...promise .... " You should realize by now that it will happen again. He is just messing with your head because he knows you will take him back. I hate the I'm so sorry line soooo much!! You really should just tell him that you have gave him enough chances to change and he has already f*cked them all up. Because it is true. He knows that you will feel guilty and that you will take him back.
I do understand that it is very terrifying to leave, especially for your children. But you can do it. People will tell you over and over again that you need to leave (Like me! haha) but we do understand that you will leave when you are ready. I just hate to read stories like yours. I feel for you. I do understand how scary it is to decide to leave and throw away everything you have had with your husband. But you know what there is good things just around the corner, you just can't see it yet. And and ending is also a beginning... and it will be a beginning for you, for you to get back to being YOU.
Lauren
Edited 8/27/2006 12:54 am ET by taylers_mumsie
because i can't really add anything to what the first reply said, all i wanna say is "hugs"
and this...i totally understand the need to have a plan before getting out, especially with children in the picture..i still believe to this day that my having a plan for when everything ended or at least some idea in my mind, that it has kept me sane, knowing i did what i had to...for myself...and when you do so, you will know its right for you and your kids!
Oh Amber......Honey you need to take your children and leave.I have been in your shoes once before many moons ago.And how many times have i heard "its your fault".WRONG!!!!This isn't your fault..never.He is the abuser,and he will never ever change.No matter how many tears he sheds,or how many times he promise he wont ever do it
I'm sorry for your troubles Amber. You and your children are in an explosive and abusive situation. You need to get yourself and your children away from him before it gets any worse.
Leave now, immediately, go to a shelter if you don't have family who will help you.
The first time shame on him...the subsequent times, shame on you. I've been where you are...and you can get out! It is not easy, I will not say it is...but it's a lot easier than living with an abuser.
Edited 8/27/2006 11:41 am ET by callie_jazzylady
Edited 8/27/2006 11:42 am ET by callie_jazzylady
" also cant go to a DV shelter bc my kids have school etc "
I am absolutely certain that children in shelters go to school. It is against the law to keep kids out of school, and school is one of the stabilizers in a child's life. They may go to a different school for awhile, but that's all right, it will help them learn to be resilient and resourceful--and will keep them from having to watch their dad scream, curse, and hit their mom.
Once you are settled, they may be in still a different school, and yes, it will be difficult, but are things easy now? Do you feel that they're safe now? Nothing will make this situation resolve itself happily or simply. I'm really sorry, but you're going to have to tough it out.
Amber, I'm sorry you're going through this.
Amber for god sake,please take the kids out of that situation,where it will not get better.And i agree with everyone else,in DV shelters,kids have to go to school.It may be difficult for them to adjust,but they eventually will.Kids do.Just remember honey,at the DV shelters,he cannot get to you or your children.
Please be safe and go.I will keep you and your kids in my thoughts and prayers,Amber.
*****hugs****
Dianne
Hon, your kids will still be able to go to school if they are in a shelter. Besides, which is more important, missing a few days of school or their mother being ALIVE?
Do me one favor. Go to our board website (it's linked at the top of the Start page), and call the national hotline number that is listed there. You don't have to do anything else, just call. I think you are going to be pleasantly surprised by a lot of what they have to say.