A nice thing about being free ...............

Avatar for queen_brat
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
A nice thing about being free ...............
20
Fri, 11-04-2011 - 4:10pm

I went and chopped off 10 inches of hair and dont have to worry about getting yelled at for it =). It is shorter then I like it but it was to long and I was to close to the 10 inches to not donated so its short and I have to get use to it, lol.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2004
Fri, 11-04-2011 - 4:59pm
I'm sure it looks great, and that was a very loving thing to do. Hugs to you!
Avatar for cajunharmony
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2001
Sat, 11-05-2011 - 7:20am

Good morning A~, what a cool thing to do.

Mama Harmony

Avatar for queen_brat
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 11-05-2011 - 7:35am

I was allowed to cut mine but he would not like how short it is or that I always cut it one lengh. I had been getting layers but with as short as it is I said one lengh was fine. I remember the time I let the oldest cut her hair to short and he flipped and told me I had to get mine cut as short and I said ok and he told me dont I dare. For me it was something I didnt have to run past anyone. I wanted it done so got


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Community Leader
Registered: 10-22-2001
Sat, 11-05-2011 - 7:04pm

~hugs~

I recently cut mine to!

About six inches, and it's still long and growing...;)

Freedom Rocks!!!

Nightangel
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2000
Sat, 11-05-2011 - 8:14pm
I had someone who is in the process of leaving her abusive husband who is currently sitting in jail. He would NEVER let her cut her hair because HE liked to brush it...well she connected that her hair was a "handle" he had to hold onto her so when she finally decided for sure she is leaving him she went and cut it off...I could say she easily cut off 20 inches...she looks great but her face glows and she is already feeling the freedom.
Avatar for queen_brat
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 11-05-2011 - 8:27pm
That is great frustrated!! I like long hair but it gets to be to much so I grow it out and then chop it off. Just its shorter then I normally go and he would have flipped but now I dont have to deal with someone flipping over it. I have to get use to it but it's a huge weight off my head. Lol. When wet it was hurting my neck and I have to wash it every day

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Avatar for cajunharmony
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2001
Sun, 11-06-2011 - 8:57am
Ya know, I thought the exact same thing, Kat! I remember him reaching out and grabbing my hair if he couldn't get hold of anything else. It's just another tool for them to use in abuse.

Mama Harmony

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2011
Sun, 11-06-2011 - 12:48pm
The day I got out of the hospital after leaving my exhusband, I chopped my hair that was a little below shoulder length into a pixie cut. It looked awful and it made me feel so insecure after. He would call me ugly and use it as a way to prove I couldn't make good decisions without him. I'm glad yall are finding power in making the big cut. I felt the opposite.
Avatar for queen_brat
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 11-06-2011 - 1:10pm
Hugs. You may not have looked bad. He could have felt you were unsure and used it to abuse you to knock you down because you did something on your own. He may have thought you looked great and worried others would look at you and that would help you to move on and he couldn't have that. You can never trust what an abuser says.

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Community Leader
Registered: 10-22-2001
Sun, 11-06-2011 - 1:37pm

It's what they do and are really good at...making us second-guess ourselves.

What he didn't like was the fact you dared to do something without consulting him first.

Not that you had to.

Sometimes our choices turn out not like we hoped.

It's the freedom to choose to make our own choices that is freeing

They want/need us to be dependent on them.

So to be in control they have to make us feel helpless.

But we really aren't.

My abusive ex ALWAYS made me feel that he wanted another woman.

Wanting me to cut/colour my hair it just wasn't me.

An "Abusive" relationship causes us to lose ourselves.

Our journey back to find us can take some time.

Nightangel

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