None of us deserve this

Avatar for star_kes
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
None of us deserve this
2
Tue, 08-03-2004 - 4:23pm
I used to be a very happy, normal girl until I met my current bf of 5 yrs. Now I'm 23, becoming bitter, and feel mean and grouchy most of the time. Plus I am constantly having panic and anxiety attacks now. We broke up once for a month, and then he became so charming and determined to 'change' that he phoned up my mother, told her everything and begged her for forgiveness. Right away she was pestering me to go back to him, he was driving me crazy, etc. so finally I did because I thought, "well maybe he has changed." Yeah, right. Now I'm stuck in the whole stupid cycle over again.

Ladies, don't be me. If you get out, stay out. It will take me a long time to get out again, because he has tightened his psychological grip on me and I go back and forth between hating and loving him. There never is a happy ending to these tales, I can tell.

I've been through this with him before. He is the guy no one would ever expect to be crazy and terrible in ways no one can imagine.

Good luck to us all.

Shawna

Avatar for smoothone2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2003
Thu, 08-05-2004 - 12:14pm
I totally agrree with you. We do not deserve this and I am going through the same cycle as you are right now. Leave, go back, leave, go back it it just never ending because are abusers have brainwashed us to think that we can not make it without them and so on. SO I pray that some day I will have the strength and leave him for good. I have been with my A on and off for 9 years now. What was I thinking when i went back the last time, it will also take me awhile to leave once again :-(
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-05-2004
Fri, 08-06-2004 - 3:33pm
Ladies, I cannot even begin to stress how true this all is. If you're able to get out..STAY OUT! Speaking from experience, I was with a very controlling and verbally abusive guy for about 5 1/2 years. I was very young when we dated (age 16-21) so I was easily manipulated and lead to believe that problems such as ours were "normal" in relationships. It was always an on and off thing..and for some reason, when I almost reached my breaking point, he knew just when and how to "reel" me back in. Needless to say, I wasted such an important part of my life on him and I can't tell you how much I still regret staying for such a long period of time.

Being in the situation, sometimes it's hard to see yourself coming out, but believe me, it is possible. And life after, I have to say, is so much better! Learn and trust from your experience as well as from the experience of others..don't do this to yourself any longer! Good luck to you all..