Not easier yet

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2011
Not easier yet
5
Wed, 07-20-2011 - 4:52pm

To update my story, the divorce was final last Friday. The ex still does not accept that it is over. Hopefully, everything will continue to go smooth with the house and it will be in closing next week.

When does it get easier....when does the pain stop and I don't feel guilty anymore? I still feel responsible for him. I am working with a counselor, but I still just don't get it.

I have no contact, but it is like a death, but worse, because I know he is still out there (and in my head lonely and sad).

Please give me some strength and encouragement......

Avatar for queen_brat
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 07-20-2011 - 10:12pm

No one can tell you for sure how long it will take to heal and move past everything. Just keep with the no contact and telling yourself that his actions lead to this and your not responsible for him or his actions!!


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Avatar for winter2007
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2006
Wed, 07-20-2011 - 11:20pm
I can understand what you are feeling. There is always the good with the bad and in times like this, you only remember the good. You need to "uncondition" yourself..he is all you have known..I think the more you associate yourself to other people, you will get past the guilt. You need to realize he is the one responsible..i think you are still taking responsibility in this, as he wants you to. believe me, I feel the same..but more of my actions are because of my child..I could have tried for RO and more stuff..but I need to take things in a gentler tone..and I am just trying to move like a normal divorce..which i know I shouldn't as I am going to give him more control. hang in there..it will get better..go out with your friends..start getting your social life back..
Avatar for winter2007
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2006
Wed, 07-20-2011 - 11:29pm
Avatar for cajunharmony
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2001
Thu, 07-21-2011 - 1:11am
Yes, you can find this in the Board web pages as well. It's accessible in the opening paragraph for this board. And this isn't the only wonderful self-help tool there. If you haven't checked it out you are really missing out on some really outstanding info, resources, checklists and tons more stuff. Check it out.

Mama Harmony

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2011
Thu, 07-21-2011 - 9:33am

Thank you for that website. I read some of the information on there and it is a good place for resources and to hear about others.

Thanks to everyone for the support.