Not sure what to do, want to stay.
Find a Conversation
| Sat, 03-12-2005 - 2:00pm |
Hello everyone,
I'm not sure if I should even be here. I feel like I am posting a trivial anectdote when everyone here has a serious situation.
My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and a half. I love him very much. We are two very dramatic individuals and that leads to countless fights over nothing. My main complaint is that he takes advantage of me once in awhile, asking for favors mostly. He's done some things to me in the past that have caused some distrust, including contacting a former girlfriend with the intentions of having sex with her during a period where he and I were having problems. I found out afterward, when he disclosed that he could not go through with it. Currently, we are both in high-pressure situations and right now have several major demands on our careers, so it has been a particularly tense time in our relationship.
My dog has been sick. (Because I decided to take him away for the weekend and had to put her in a kennel, where she caught a virus). On Tuesday night he came over, and he stepped in an accident she had (because she's sick). In his irritation, he caught $75 shirt on a hook on the wall and ripped it. I can't remember how the situation escalted, but we both said some nasty things and I asked him to leave. (He doesn't live with me). At some point, I don't remember what i said right before it happened, he put his shoe close to my face and reminded me he stepped in it, a few seconds later he slapped me on my head. He asked how it felt. It didn't hurt, it wasn't even hard, but I felt so ashamed. HE hit ME and I felt ashamed.
I know that no one ever believes that the situation will escalate to abuse and that I'm being a little naieve. I don't know how to proceed, I'd like to keep my relationship and move on. Is this possible?
Vanessa

Thanks Tia, for spending so much time writing back to me. Everything you said is completely true. It's funny - I'm an intelligent, well-educated person and I KNOW that this is wrong and it's time to walk away. I have children from a previous relationship who view this man as a role model, I DO NOT want him to send the message to my children (both boys) that this is the way to treat the women they will someday meet. Everything is so logical, and I am a logical person. WHY then am I still here?
I guess I know the answer to that too. Right now we are in the midst of yet another argument and I am still sitting here, pathetic, wondering why I am still doing this.
Thank you so much for being here,
Vanessa