Now I'm getting abusive too!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2005
Now I'm getting abusive too!
5
Tue, 03-22-2005 - 5:07pm

I don't know what is happening to me. I cannot control my temper anymore. I am in a verbally and emotionally abusive relationship for the past 3 years. Over the past year, I started losing control of my temper when he's saying hurtful things. I have slapped him. Now, the urges are so uncontrollable that once I've slapped him, I can't believe I've done it.
Also, we got in a fight in the car the other day and I almost lost control of it. I think I'm going crazy. When I do these things, he calls me a "violent bitch". He's also been telling his friends and family that I'm abusive. Little comments like 'I can't leave the house or she'll hit me' and stuff like that.
We have a 2 year old and I want to get out but my boyfriend says he will fight to take custody of our son away. I am afraid that since I am losing control, the judge will not understand that it's the terrible bitterness and anger over being treated badly that has me acting this way... I feel 100% confident that getting away from my boyfriend will end these uncontrollable urges to be violent.

Any advice or support is appreciated. I'm thinking of leaving soon. I just don't want to lose my son.

-H.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Tue, 03-22-2005 - 6:51pm

Hi Fruity, welcome -


What you are dealing with now is extremely common, but I will warn you right now - do not hit him again.

CL-Blueliner4

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2005
Tue, 03-22-2005 - 7:40pm

Thank you so much cl-blueliner4. I have been feeling truly terrible for the stupid ways I've reacted. I hope and pray that the judge will see that I am not an abusive person by nature. I just cannot handle being pushed around emotionally anymore.

I have been planning to just be honest with the judge because my ex is sure to point out that I've hit him. Is that a good plan?

Any other comments are appreciated! :)

-H.




Edited 3/22/2005 9:04 pm ET ET by fruityloopy
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Wed, 03-23-2005 - 2:27am

Honestly, telling the truth is all you can do.

CL-Blueliner4

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2005
Wed, 03-23-2005 - 9:07am
Thank you so much! I look forward to your reply and any others that come!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Wed, 03-23-2005 - 11:48am

As promised, here's some links.

CL-Blueliner4