Now a totally different issue than STBX

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Now a totally different issue than STBX
4
Mon, 04-04-2005 - 1:21am

saying BAD things to dd (age 5) about me ... now everytime he speaks to her, she gets off the phone & says
"Daddy says to tell you he loves you very much"

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Mon, 04-04-2005 - 9:18am

Different username, gotta sometimes switch 'em up, security and privacy issues. Uumm how to let you know who I am. . .


I'm the one who had my kids this weekend because their father didn't take them for his visitation.


:)


In my case, the notepassing (which occured most of the first full month after the PFA was in place) took place AFTER what you just wrote happened to you. Then the threats came (mostly to encourage me to drop the PFA), the threats were pretty heavy. Then the 2nd attempted (actually third but 2nd w/i this whole mess) suicide attempt came, with the 1st attempt occuring right before I filed for the PFA. After the attempted suicide, and he was put into a "helpful place", he went on medication that he is still on because he was officially diagnosed with two mental disorders. Then came the "changed person", "can't get mad at me for who I was, that was a different person". Anything to make me think that I should give him another chance. That went on in November. December was full of threats again, namely about our taxes and who would get that money, about where the children should be, about custody, how I'm "breaking up the family, leaving the children living in turmoil and the trauma of it all". January was full of him sorta pushing for us to make it work, and sorta pushing the issue that he felt kids and wife go together, and he gets so depressed when he has the kids and he can't see me. He saw them Jan 8 and 9 that month.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2005
Mon, 04-04-2005 - 6:06pm

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I think you're on the right track! He's definitely trying to manipulate you and DD. I think you're handling it fine for now. Definitely talk to the therapist though for further advice.

Good luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2004
Mon, 04-04-2005 - 9:32pm
I think maybe he could be sincerely wishing he could come back and be a family again. Maybe he realizes he is losing everything?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Tue, 04-05-2005 - 8:48am
I do think he DOES sincerely wish it. & he knows he is losing everything. But there is just NO going back for me. (not that i think you are suggessting that). I gave him SO many chances to get it right, to stop being abusive & taking advantage of me & not taking responsibility or putting anything into this marriage ... Sad, but i am done. No matter even IF he did change his ways ...

R~

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