Oh, and about couple's counseling . . .
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| Wed, 03-31-2004 - 9:46am |
Last year he decided 'I' needed to go to counseling and he'd go with me so he asked around about getting a man counselor because 'he wanted a man who'd agree with him'. Well, we started going to this counselor who will never mention abuse. He did say 'well, Graig has admitted at being physical at times' - this is the extent he got. He was all about love and respect and saying the right things to each other. He would pat H on the back and tell him things would work out if he just did the things he said for him to do. Well, all this did nothing but make things worse. H definitely then did not take any responsibility for anything he did. Things were minimized and now he says 'you went to counseling for a year and it did you no good!' Even when the counselor told him he needed to go to his family and tell the truth about lies he's told, he says it never happened. He has completely lied about everything.
DO NOT GO TO COUPLE'S COUNSELING. Basically, in my opinion, in counseling like this does not work for the abuser unless he is 200% set on changing his ways. H even went to an anger management class for abusers. His opinion of that was that all the men there were 'set up' by their wives or SO.
Please don't even consider this. If he wants to go, let him go by himself. And don't let him blame anything on you! Sure after some of the things we have to put up with we will retaliate. If you see a dog who is abused and crouching in the corner all the time, haven't you seen where that dog eventually with come out with teeth barring? We have a right to defend ourselves. That doesn't mean we are to blame - that only means we have had enough.
Hugs,
Jackie

Love & Hugs,
Emm