oh this has to stop
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oh this has to stop
| Tue, 08-03-2004 - 11:30am |
my husband hurt me last night. i tried to get away from him but i wasn't fast enough. i begged him for mercy but he wouldn't let up. i thought i might lose the baby. i was so scared. he took me into the hospital early this morning, and put a cast on my lower arm since it is broken. i want to cry. the bad thing is he is still angry with me, he thinks this is my fault he did this. my oldest son asked if i made daddy angry and why. i told him no of course not, he said that i must have. i am speechless.

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Again, I wish you peace.
- meaningoflife.
What steps are you going to take to put an end to your misery?
Yes, it's easy to feel useless when that happens-absolutely. The trick is to realize that IT'S NOT TRUE. Listen to what you wrote--however you felt, you cooked and played with your children. You did what needed to be done, despite your pain, both physical and emotional/mental/spiritual. Think about how strong you would think that woman was if you were hearing about her.
And make no mistake, if you don't get out, he may well kill you. And even if he doesn't, your son is on the way to learning the thought processes that make an abuser. I know, my husband can describe, in detail, the things he saw that made him the way he is. Of course, he doesn't admit there's anything wrong with it, so it's not like he'll change, he describes it to explain how things should be.
I have a two-and-a-half-year-old son, and he is NOT going to grow up seeing that and thinking it's normal. The day I left, he came up to me and grabbed my arms and looked at me and said, 'you're stupid, Mommy". Now, he was just expressing his insecurity with the drastic change involved in living in a shelter (for three days), but that was the worst thing he knew how to say to get a reaction. He is NOT going to learn any more of that.
Please know you are strong enough to do what needs to be done to protect yourself and your children. It will be hard and ugly, probably, but even in the midst of the worst, there are good flashes of what it feels like not to be afraid, and to remember the woman you were before the nightmare started.
Good luck to you. And sorry this is so late from when you posted.
CC
Open your mouth and talk to authorities, stop this all right now.
Just because he's a doctor doe's not put him above the law. On this boards homepage are articles on how to deal with doctors, police, anyone who thinks the law doesn't cover their actions.
Take action, tell someone! Get yourself out before this abuser kills you, period!! If he has no problem breaking an arm, he has no problem with doing worse.
Right now, and this was on national television this week, Homicide is the number one killer in this country of pregnant women. Please, stop hiding behind his abuse before you become another statistic.
If you need an excuse, go to the ER of the hospital, tell them that it doesn't feel like your arm is set right, let them X-ray your arm and ask to talk to someone who handles DV within the hospital. Also, tell them under no circumstances to let your husband know you are there. Because in all honesty, I doubt he even took the time to set it properly, just to hurt you more in the future. Let them find where and who set it the first time and when it's all hush hush, let them know why!!
The doors to freedom are open in front of you, you have to find the courage within to take the step through and seek safe asylum for you and the children.
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