Ok, decision made, will file a RO 1st
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| Thu, 02-03-2005 - 12:36am |
thing in the AM, after i contact the atty. & if i cant get him, i will go to the Womens Resource center & they will do it. Then i will leave town, fast.
Here's where i am:
1. What IF he finds out all of a sudden what i am planning? Now i am more sure than ever that he may completely lose it.
2. I talked w/ my SIL, in depth tonite, who finally, after 21 horrible years of marriage, left Mikes brother last year. Both their kids are SO royally messed up - the 21 yr old boy will likely never make it in life. The 16 yr old girl ... so so depressed, no self esteem, a sad sad girl - all b/c they lived their lives w/ Mikes brother ... who was never as loving towards his kids as Mike is to Ave ... but ... most certianly has the abusive characteristics & he was physically abusive, i just found out. Its a known FACT that their father abused their mother physcially, his oldest brother beat 3 different wives & his mother re-married a sadistically abusive "man" when Mike was 11. That tells me its only a matter of time b4 it becomes physcial in my situtation. Its INGRAINED into him. Its his defense mechanism.
3. Im not so sure the typical honeymoon behavior will come this time. He is out of character right now. I have his dd & his 2 dogs the past 6 hours - & he hasnt tried to contact me ONCE, not one call on my cell. Not one email. (not that i would have responded) This is WAY out of character for an incident like this. Usually within an hour or 2 he is begging forgiveness. This tells he me is really pissed. (to put it lightly)
4. Someone(s) pointed out that my case would be SO much stronger if it happened like this. Rather than planning the more "opportune" time - in the courts eyes. Not to mention their absolute terror of what he may do next.
5. My biggesst worry about filing right now, is dd's 5th bday party Sat at 4pm. But if there is a RO, he cant come into the Y, where it is being held. Would he try? I think so. But i really dont know. I will have my brother, my Dad, HIS brother ... anyone ... to be sure he doesnt come in. I say his brother b/c he will physically KEEP him from coming & being arressted if the need be. & my father & brother ... just to keep us safe & diffuse any situation that may come up. Or dial 911 the second he is on any premises we are on. Scares the HELL out of me that there MAY be the possibility that it could all come to a head & he could be dragged out of Ave's party by the police ... i SO dont want to do that to her. But i am thinkking logistically that the party is in the gym. If i had someone stop him prior to getting IN ... God, its a nitemare. I just dont know. She knows her party is in 3 days. There are 15 kids coming. She will be so heartbroken over my telling her her Daddy is moving out - i cant take this away too, the party. If the RO has her in it too, i wont have to worry about his talking to her. So i will wait till her bdy is over to tell her he left. If he CAN have access to her - then i will have to tell her 1st. My heart is BREAKING over that. Will she always remember her 5th bday as the one her Daddy left on????? --- I totally lost it for the 1st time tonite whie typing thsi out. I called a nurse from work who went thru this 5 years ago. She MADE me see, this is my chance. I am threatened, scared & forced out of my house. What better time to just do it. & we talked about the freaking bday party issue. I KNOW its crazy not to just forget it, but i am trying to keep dd's life as normal for her as possible. She suggessted that i come back w/ my brother, Dad, uncle, whoever - to "escort" us for safety. She said when she thought her X was going to cause an issue once, when she had a RO on him, she contacted the police to tell them that she expected he would show up (i think her sister was getting married) & a cop was staked out in the parking lot waiting in case he showed up. If i did this & he came, we would be in the Y & dd would never know anything happened. I would even pay a cop out of pocket to watch the place for the 2 horus of the party. & then after, either we would go home & someone would stay with me, or we would go back to my families 2 hours away.
I have to do this, NOW. I am calling the atty 1st thing in the AM & telling him to file the emergency restraining order, AND to include dd if he can. As bad as this is ... & will be for a while ... this is the beginning of the rest of my life. & i know my Mom will keep me safe.
Thank you all from the bottom of my heart for everything xo


I responded upstairs.
CL-Blueliner4