Ok I took a stupid pill last night...

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-12-2004
Ok I took a stupid pill last night...
1
Sun, 05-16-2004 - 10:45pm
Ok I am officially an idiot .....I caved last night I mean big time my H has been soooo nice and bending over backwards for ages which he bloody well should he has been saying all the right things etc I KNOW I AM SCREAMING HONEYMOON PERIOD I get it I have read till my eyeballs are hurting I know what's going on and yet what did I do I cuddled up to him in bed and then I kissed him and well the rest as they say is ummmm for adults only.

So what is wrong with ME!!! This man over the years has done and said things to me that are just sooo wrong on many levels and I go crawling back to him. Afterwards I was crying I just wanted to feel safe in his arms WHAT!!! This is the same person who has made me afraid how can I feel safe one day and scared by the same person another. This is soooo very sick its not funny. I thought I was a pretty smart person, you know I am the one everyone comes to for advice people ask me all the time what to do!! So why is my own advise so hard to swallow I mean if I was reading this I would have lots to say but because its me I don't know I just sound like a idiot. Who does this who lets someone do this to them and then goes back for another serve ....HELLO grow a brain! I keep telling myself he gets it, he gets how much he has hurt me, he gets it, he will change, he is that 1% he's going to DV councelling.....convincing myself that this time it will be different. I am so p***ed at myself today it is not funny!!

M

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2003
Mon, 05-17-2004 - 1:18am
Don't beat yourself up over this.

Peace and hugs,

Cheryl =)

The minute you settle for less than you