**OMG!!**

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2012
**OMG!!**
7
Sat, 01-28-2012 - 2:05pm

Hi..I started here w/ the posting of Pain..always in Pain. So, even though there aren't many messages, it gives a little background.

I just got out of the hospital for blood clots, with one in my lung. Thursday (while in the hospital) I got the automatic notification that my ex was released from jail...that sucked and I was a bit surprised, as it was a little early I thought, for him to get out. I heard nothing from him...and I really have been feeling sad and lonely, etc...BUT around 930 that night- remember SAME day he got out- I saw a new number calling my cell. I answered and it was him, HIGHLY intoxicated and irate I was not at home (guess he drove by) and wanted to come over..I told him to f off and he said a few awful things and h/u. I didnt hear from him again. We have a PFA and a no contact for a pending felony against him, trial in March. I couldve called the cops, just for contact..but I'm used to it, and really didn't think about it since he didn't call again.

I get discharged yesterday, and have to stay w/ my parents a few days for help with my 2 year old, as i'm weak and get easily winded. My mom took me past the house so I could get a few things and I SAW 3 OF MY TIRES WERE SLASHED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So he must've thought i was out being social and was angry. Not that it matters, but nope, I was in the hospital.

I waited 7 hours for the police...it is highly doubtful I'll be able to get him charged w/ whatever for destroying my tires, unless they can get evidence (although the cops know it was him too)..but he has warrants now for breaking a no contact (felony, since it's a pending felony) and breaking PFA (misdemeanor). IDK how I'm going to get these tires fixed- I'm having a hard time maintaining my

Avatar for cajunharmony
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2001
In reply to: live1day
Sat, 01-28-2012 - 3:51pm

Hi Live, how awful it must be to be going through all of this right out of the hospital.

Mama Harmony

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2012
In reply to: live1day
Sat, 01-28-2012 - 7:46pm

Thanks for the advice..I have the DV shelter #, the police are on it the best they can and I let the DA know what's going on. I'm so bummed. I'm so saddened this is my life. I'm quite concerned that he did this on the day of his release and the frenzy he was in. It takes quite a bit of strength and anger to destroy tires..and all I keep thinking of is what if I had been out socially, and drove up right at the time he was destroying my tires? I know he could have turned on me. BUT, I have not heard a single peep from him at all. It was the one call...so he just is doing whatever he wants, living without a care that he has caused more trauma and damage and probably feels entitled.

I'm so very sick of it all. I highly doubt the police will find him. And if he does happen to get picked up, he will be out in a flash. He was able to post 20k cash bail last time. He can afford and has a highly connected attorney. No one questions where he gets the money for the attorney..And in his mind, he twists this all up to still be about me, the state...anything but the fact he is a the one at fault. I'm so fed up. I'm tired. It's hard to believe there will ever be a day that I'm the woman I used to be, happy, financially stable...and in love, maybe married..living life and not just being alive.

I apologize for the whiney. I'm just sad and letdown and defeated..guess I'm feeling sorry for myself and I guess I'm using the boards as a journal of sorts. I used to journal every day..until my ex found my journal- early in our relationship- and I've never been able to journal the same since.

Avatar for cajunharmony
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2001
In reply to: live1day
Sat, 01-28-2012 - 9:21pm
Feel free to journal away, live. This board has been used by many people in exactly the same way. Just remember that it's a public forum and that you don't post anything that could compromise your confidentiality. One thing you must remember, make that two: You are not weak. If you were you wouldn't have made it this far. You are not defeated. You are starting anew. The defeat comes when you get knocked down and refuse to get back up. Hon, you are getting back up. Keep the faith. We're here for you.

Mama Harmony

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2012
In reply to: live1day
Mon, 01-30-2012 - 4:42pm

Well he was arrested and posted bail within minutes.

Still no evidence to charge him w/ slashing my tires. I went home the other day and someone clipped HIS state ID to my mailbox...I called the cops and the problem is he still has my address on his ID so they can't do anything w/ it..He could've dropped it 1 hour away and a good samaritan could've dropped it off. I get that, but I'm so angered. I've asked a couple neighbors if they put in on my mailbox w/ no success yet. I'm limited mobility, with stitches in one foot, and the other is so sore from the blood clots:( If I could just find the person that put it on my mailbox, it may make a difference in the whole thing. But it looks like he's going to get away w/ yet another thing...and just go about his life, lots of money, not a care...I know hating someone destroys the hater...but at this point, I don't know how to not feel this way. I'm even hating myself for giving in as many times as i have. I can't wish I never met him, as it would wish my baby girl away..but I wish I left the sorry excuse of a 'man' when he went to jail for hitting me while pregnant.

maybe today I'd be happy.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2000
In reply to: live1day
Mon, 01-30-2012 - 11:16pm

To stop and think about this...if he did loose it, then he wont be calling you to get it back...therefore, it would be a good person who was trying to do the right thing....however, if he calls to get his id back, that proves he was the one who put it there, otherwise how would he know you had it...you can simply tell him you gave it to the police and he can contact them...then report him for violation because he contacted you regarding getting his id back....

I would mail it to the police station and say you found it and was turning it in to lost and found...you dont have to connect it to you, or you can...that would be your choice. Regardless you need to get rid of it asap. That way if he shows up to get it, 1) violation and report, 2) it is not there so he cannot even try to justify the violation because it is not there....

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2012
In reply to: live1day
Tue, 01-31-2012 - 7:16pm

Yeah, he won't call for it. I have not heard one word from him..and it's weird how I still get a knot in my stomach over it. It sickens me to no end that he is w/ someone else and just living life, while I have to pick up all the pieces. Isn't that so stupid? He is a mean, heartless man..that if I really make a list, has brought me nothing but pain. And I know the woman he is with is going to go through it too...But a little part of me thinks 'is this the time he's going to change?'..I just hate that I have to go through this mourning, and he gets to just move on w/ life..start a new one and....OMG am I ever going to stop? It's disgusting..so disgusting, that I keep getting sad over this SOB.

As for the license, I'm waiting for the cop to call me back about the license. I want to physically hand it over. Not that it will get him charged.

I don't believe in the system anymore. He just gets smacked on the wrist. I guess I have to die before they spend any time on this crap.

Thanks for the vent...can't afford psycho doc co-pays just yet.

Good luck to all you going through it too.

A

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2008
In reply to: live1day
Wed, 02-01-2012 - 10:16am

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