OMG! I have been SO blind!!!
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| Tue, 02-01-2005 - 5:14pm |
M's job the past year & 1/2 has been w/ a metal fabricating shop - VERY small. 2 guys who own it, & him. They do beautiful wrought iron hand work. One of the guys D, M is good freinds with. He has never worked more than 20 hours a week, "b/c they dont have the hours for him", according to M. Most days he was home by noon, if not 10am or 11am. No benefits, no sick time.
1st of all, a couple months ago he came home at 10am, furious. I never really have known him at all, to physically fight w/ another guy. So i was suprised when he said he "almost killed D" b/c "D was being a complete ****". D called an hour later, M went back to work, & thats the end i heard from M, he said they made up & D apologized. So then 2 weeks later i was at a freinds Xmas party & this girl i never met says "Wow, THATS your H? He flips out, ha?" I was like "What?" Apprantly she lives next door to the shop (its in a residential neighborhood) & & saw the fight. She later told my freind "That guy would scare me".
So ... this past Mon M came home & said he was "laid off". Fine. Nothing NEW here! Its seems to have happened about 1 million times in the 8 yrs we haev been together. So today the phone rings & he yells "DONT ANSWER IT". I didnt. But then i checked messages ... let me tell you - its WAY easier to divorce a stupid guy than a smart guy. He didnt even THINK to check & erase the message. So, i listened to it - it was D from work, his boss. Basically apparently M went down after he was *LET GO* ... NOT laid off, & vandalized the shop. Put glue in the locks or something. They have a witness, that same neighbors husband, who saw him do it & knows who he is. Ok now ... not ONLY is that totally unacceptable & stupid - but we have just spent $12K (*I* personally only 3K towards it thank God, the rest from his Dad & an outstanding balance) on this Fire Dept law suit. WHY IN THE WORLD would he chance getting arressted for this vandalism during this whole Superior Law suit stuff!?!!? UNBELEIVEABLE. Just goes to show he has NO self control.
So, i told him that there were 2 messages (one on my cell phone as well) from D & M saw i was furious. He asked "What?" I said "You are a 40 yr old grown man, what the H*ll is WRONG WITH YOU???" & i walked out. he yelled after me "Oh sure, as USUAL, beleive someone ELSE ... not me". Uh, HELLO??? I am thinking there is a HUGE pattern here over the years ... its NEVER his fault.
So, i returned D's call. I wanted details. He basically confirmed that not only did he have a witness, but that "M has a screw or 2 loose". He told me he "could be such a great guy, but man, he has no control. I realy thought he was going to kill me a few weeks back. That guy is scary as Hell. Something is wrong w/ him". He also said M was well aware that "this job wasnt forever b/c we need someone who wants to work full time & be an apprentice". I then asked "this past year & 1/2, WAS full time availiable to him?" He said "not always, but often he left very early when he could have worked a full day".
Alls i can say about this is:
1.Thank you for the ammunition
2.God provides when i need a dose or reality b/c just last nite i sobbed myself to sleep over this
& 3. ADIOS Buddy.
R~


It really is amazing how stupid these guys can get.
CL-Blueliner4
Yes, it has been one thing after the other ... for years. But it all has culminated now into one big I AM SO DONE! & yes, its godo that every once & a while, i am reminded how screwed up this all is .... even when on the surface, for a week or 2, it LOOKS ok ... b/c its NOT.
& yes, it will be interesting to say the least, what people have to say after they find out I now know it all.
R~
I will call the atty tomorrow. I will ask him what his suggesstion is, if this changes the idea of his stability to have these vists, unsupervised w/ our dd, once i leave him. I woudl THINK this shows a pattern of rage & instability ... i hope so. I have never seen him lose it with her in his care, but he has w/ me, in her prescence. & he will have never been so low as he will be after i file.
& the shop owner told me he fixed the locks & isnt pressing charges. He spoke to a mutual freind of both of theirs & he sort of de-flamed the situation. Im not too worried about it, but i will run your idea by the atty as well. THANKS!