One Time Fluke ?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-01-2006
One Time Fluke ?
3
Thu, 10-12-2006 - 7:52am
Last night my bf of 3 years whom I live with shocked me. He came home from a friends house drunk. We went to my cousins house (who is his best friend)around the corner and everything seemed fine. Well, he made a comment to my cousin "why do we have to come straight home from work" while I was talking to my mom. So, when I got off I said you come straight home b/c...(blah, blah, blah). Well, he gets angry and flies off the handle. Telling me who am I talking to, am I talking to him, or them (my cousin and his wife). That if Im talking to them then look at them, and if Im talking to him then look at him. I really couldnt believe he was as angry as his voice and face appeared to be. Then he PUSHED ME! He pushed me towards them as if to say go over there w/them. I was totally shocked! He has never ever exhibited any signs that he would ever put his hands on me, and I have slapped his face before. I wasnt even upset w/him for real until he pushed me. Then we of course went home, b/c the evening was ruined. We get home, he asks me if I want some lasagna (I say no), and then he passes out on the couch. Im still very confused. I was so hurt, I cried myself to sleep. This morning we dressed and rode to work in silence. He told me see you later, have a good day when he got out of the car. I cant believe that he could get so angry w/me. It's totally not him. Advice please.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-01-2005
In reply to: izzibug
Thu, 10-12-2006 - 11:54am
Please don't mind me jumping in.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2006
In reply to: izzibug
Thu, 10-12-2006 - 10:15pm

There is no such thing as a one time fluke. If he did it once, he'll do it again. (Unless he gets help)

My bf did the same to me. First he hit me while he was driving a car, then he kicked me out the car and I had to walk home. Afterwards I made him promise he wouldn't do it again but not even a month later we got into a heated argument and this time i fought back. The next day I couldn't go to work because one side of my face was swollen. I love him and I want things to work between us but I know in the back of my mind that things will get worse. And to make things even more interesting he asked me to marry him yesterday, I didn't reply I just looked at him.

My advice to you is to get out while you still can and whatever you do don't let him isolate you from your family and friends. That's my problem I have no where to go and no one to turn to. However, I do believe people can change but they don't change overnight he needs a lot of time to himself and you need time to heal as well.

I wish you the best.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2004
In reply to: izzibug
Sun, 10-15-2006 - 7:45pm
If it happened once, it could happen again. That doesn't mean that it will, but the decision you have to make is whether you are comfortable living with the knowledge that it *could* happen. Check out our website, accessible through the link at the top of the Start page. Included is a checklist of abusive behaviors; look at it and see if it helps you figure out what to think.
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