one year
Find a Conversation
| Thu, 09-30-2004 - 6:33pm |
For peaople who are new to my story i was married for almost 13yrs. to my senior highschool sweetheart. I was very much un love with him when we got married. and it was great for the first year of our marriage(which is'nt unusal). Then his mom and dad started problems because they thought we were spending to much time with my side of the family. My family was very close as we were growing up. Well his mom made things so unbearable that it caused a major problem with my parents and i quit speaking to them for almost 2 years
I didn't leave the first time he hit me. But i did the second time i stayed away for about a month then he talked me into going back so i did. my ex's parents made life hard for me and they would do petty stuff to cause fights between us. like when i had my second son his mom got mad because my mom was in the delivery room with us and she wasn't. My mom was there with all three of my kids when they were born. i wanted her there and so did my husband. But she through a fit in the hospital to try to get her way.(which she didn't) she tried with all her heart to turn my ex against me.
He started drinking really bad about 3 years into our marriage. and once he got drunk thats when all h*** would break loose. I knew i was going to get hurt. Then he would start not coming home after work and gettting drunk and coming home 2 or 3 in the morning wanting to talk or fight. I use to get sick to my stomach when i knew he was drinking. when he was sober we had a great time he could be the most loving and caring person i'd ever known. He would do anything for anyone.
then his dad passed away and his mom needed him we did everything for her she didn't even know how to write a check. Or where the bills were kept and the life insurance hadn't been taken care of so my husband and I did it and taught her how to do these things. I did most of it because i did it in our family. We even had to move in with her because she didn't want to live alone so we did against my will. But i loved my husband. We fought more and more. And i was ready to leave and had plans to. Then the job he had was moving and gave him the choise to move with the company or a severance package. We decided to move to get away and start over. we were gone for 2 years and in all honesty it was great he quit drinking and we didn't fight really i think the worst fight we had at that time was what we wanted for dinner.
Then my grandmother passed away and my mom needed me so we decided to come back. We hadn't been back home a full day when his mom calls and needs something and he gets mad but does it anyway leaving me and the kids to unload and unpack everything. I was furious but I didn't say a word. The drinking started again.
The moment I knew i needed to leave was the night he was drunk and he started ranting and raving about his mom and her new boyfriend. I told him that I didn't want to talk about her and he got mad and started screaming and I started to get the kids and leave and he grabbed me and he put a knife to my throat and said he'd slit my throat and i wanted him to and i told him to do it I didn't want to live anymore at that my point. things just got worse. then one night he lost it and he started to strangle ds and i could have killed him then the next morning we were gone. A friend of his helped me. He kept the ex away from the house all day and i grabbed everything the boys and i would need and ran. He found us 2 weeks later and i the next day we left our home state and escaped.
That was the scariest thing I ever did we knew no one had no where to go, I had no job.
but we did it and it was the best thing I ever did.
My kids are finally happy they still have alot of issuses to work out. But we have overcome some amazing things. I have 2 that are bipolar. one of them also has PTSD and ADHD and dylexia. the third one has deterating hips.
And they are doing great. they love being here they have made many friends and do lots of things they couldn't before they get to be kids again.
I my self have along ways to go. but I'm getting better I'm now back in college and I love my job and we have a nice apartment and we've made some really good friends that I can really talk to and they somewhat understand because they have been through it also.
I feel safe again. It was hard for a long time. but we made it through the first year. And that is good.
the first time i reallized i was free was when i opened my checking accountin my name only and when the checks came in and it was only my name on them I sat and cried because that was something I had never had.
Thank you guys for being so supportive and understanding
Lot of hugs
Christy
Edited 9/30/2004 6:36 pm ET ET by smileytot

CONGRATULATIONS, Smileytot on this, your first FREEDOM DAY ANNIVERSARY.
Mama Harmony
Sending you a HUGE hug. Your story brings tears to my eyes... another wonderful woman is finding her OWN life.
Hugs!
Christine
Congrats! I am very proud of you! One year, Wow. I have been free for only 4 months now, but I see that year coming, I know that I will NEVER go back. You have overcome so very much and were in such a scary situation. I am so glad that you and your children are safe and happy!
Hugs and Hats off to You!!!
jen