OT- My Dad fell off the wagon......

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
OT- My Dad fell off the wagon......
5
Sun, 10-23-2005 - 12:19am
did i ever say "I HATE ALCOHOLISM!?!"

My brother just told me tonite. My Dad begged him not to tell me but Chris thought i needed to know (i wont tell Dad i know) b/c i do send Averey there with him some weekends.

You guys likely may have heard the

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2005
Sun, 10-23-2005 - 9:29am

Oh Rebecca, you've had on helluva week havent you?

5yrssm 
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2003
Mon, 10-24-2005 - 2:40pm

Hey Rebecca, I HATE ALCOHOLISM TOO!, and I'm a recovering addict/alcoholic. I just celebrated 3 years clean and sober. I've heard alot of stories about people who stop going to meetings and think they have this thing licked, and the next thing you hear, they're back out there as bad as ever. You're absolutely right - it's denial with a capital D. As a non-alcoholic, you just can't understand how much alcohol means to us alcoholics - it's the answer to all of our problems. We glamorize alcohol, dream about alcohol, it's our lover and best friend. We will NEVER have neutral feelings about it.

As you know, alcoholism is a disease, like diabetes. It doesn't "go away." It's incurable, progressive and fatal, and we can only arrest it one day at a time.

So what can you do? Nothing. I don't mean to sound flip here, but there's really nothing you can do. Your father has to hit his own "bottom," and realize once again that he can't have 1 drink. That's the nature of our disease. Other people can have a drink, sip it, leave the glass half full. Not an alcoholic. We may start the bender with just 1 drink. The next night, it'll be 2. Before you know it, we're back in the "gutter."

The best thing you can do is stand back and pray for him. By nature, alcoholics are self-centered individuals and always think they know best. Hang in there and be supportive of his recovery efforts. His continued attendance at meetings is a good thing. Eventually, he'll get the message again.

I've never "relapsed," but I've heard that once you work the 12-steps and have some recovery, the party is pretty much over. You can't drink in blissful ignorance like you used to.

Hang in there, and this alcohlic will be praying for your dad. Love, Mo.

mo 7-18-10

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Tue, 10-25-2005 - 6:29am
Thanks Honey - Harm was a great help. She knows of what she speaks! Thank you for the links - i have some wonderful support from the Dealing with Addictions board that i have been with for many years. (((hugs)))

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Tue, 10-25-2005 - 6:32am

Mo, CONGRATS! Good for you! I am so happy to hear that you have done so well. You must be very proud. It seems as if it is a horrendously difficult, nevermind scary, thing to accomplish.


I know there isnt anything i can do about it, or for him. Thats what is so infuriation. Of course, had i been able to "help" my H .... well, he STILL woudl be an abusive jerk, Im sure.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Tue, 10-25-2005 - 6:33am

BTW, sending the GAL this made me feel better anyway, today:


Dear ****,

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