Our sons moving out

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2004
Our sons moving out
3
Fri, 04-30-2004 - 7:14am
Last night husband got mad because our oldest son's room was a mess. He's 18 and a senior in high school, there are 3 more weeks of school till he graduates.

H began yelling, punching son in the arm, threw a bottle of aspirin at me, which hit me in the hand ("If I would have meant to hit you, it would have hit you in the face"). Then the rest of the tyrade began. here are the new rules. He doesn't like that I work on Sundays (I play the organ at a church), because then I'm not home with him, He doesn't like that I am pursuing a job as a teacher, because sometimes they have to work at nights when he's home, and wants me there then. So first it was quit the job at church, don't look for a teachers job. Now it's he forbids me to quit at the church cause he doesn't want that to be his fault, and he wants me to look for a teaching job, because he's not going to take the fall for me being "unhappy".

Then he started with the "I give you everything you want, I do everything for you, I have made all sorts of sacrifices for you and the boys" blah,blah, blah...

So now as usual it's all my fault that we are having problems because he does so much for us it must be our fault.

This started at 8:15 pm, at midnight, he walked by our oldest room, and started on him again, clean up this room by the time I get home from work tomorrow or you'll be sorry.

when I got up this morning, I went to wake him up (the oldest), and there he is in his room, relatively clean. With all his stuff packed. And he said, I'm leaving at least till I graduate, cause I can't go to school with all this stress from home. He also thinks that if he leaves some of the yelling will stop. I understand why he is leaving. I don't blame him. It's probably the safest thing he can do. I know where he's going and trust those people, I gave him the cash I had on hand, told him I would only call him on his cell phone to keep it charged up, and that I wouldn't let his Dad know where he is.

I love that kid, and I am sitting here bawling like a baby because of all of this. But he has to keep himself safe too.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: jljz
Fri, 04-30-2004 - 9:16am
Don't let your son feel like he is responsible for what's going on in the house.

IMHO, I think you should get rid of your H. His ranting and raving is not going to stop.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2004
In reply to: jljz
Fri, 04-30-2004 - 9:23am
yes, I think I should get rid of my hubby too, unfortunately, there's no room in the freezer.

sorry, just venting, talking to the abuse shelter now.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: jljz
Fri, 04-30-2004 - 9:27am
My H screamed at the kids all the time when they were small. Now he takes a different approach that they are out of the house. Of course, you know that we are in the process of a divorce now. STBX now has this calm, cool, collected way about him now of trying to win the kids over to his side away from me. They, of course, eat it up. They had no attention from him when they were little and now that dad is paying attention to them, they love it. He is very sly and manipulating and could talk the pants off a nun.

Anyway, I'm venting now, too. I'm very upset at how STBX is using me and the kids. I've seen all this so much and I'd like to punch your H for saying and doing what he did to your son.