Passive aggression

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-28-2005
Passive aggression
2
Tue, 05-31-2005 - 6:20pm

I can't believe how beautifully the details are falling into place for my planned move away from this disturbed, passive-aggressive boyfriend I've had for a year. I knew that once I passed my board exam, I'd be set, and now it's happened. My dreams are coming true. I'm even getting to move sooner than I had planned to.

Ever since the night a month ago when I angrily confronted him about yet one more online encounter, the evidence of which he left right under my nose (as usual), he's been sulking and angry, while simultaneously denying he's angry about anything. He's sarcastic and snippy. He barks short, angry responses when I try to talk to him. Yet he insists that everything is all right and he's not upset about anything at all. I've just given up. I don't even care. I'm just going around smiling all the time now.

His latest stunt was to take the trouble to dig out a big, framed picture of him and his ex-wife (after having just removed everything of hers from the house and packing it away because it bothered me)and display it in the family room. I refuse to acknowledge it, because it's just another attempt to provoke me, and I'm done being provoked. Never again will I let myself get financially dependent on anyone. It's the worst feeling in the world to not be able to do anything of consequence without getting the means from someone else. No, I'm through with handing over my life to people who can't be trusted with it. I'm in the driver's seat now.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Tue, 05-31-2005 - 7:12pm

Good news on getting to move early, hon!

CL-Blueliner4

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-28-2005
Wed, 06-01-2005 - 10:55am

Thank you. You know, he's been doing such a lot of posturing lately, it's really funny. Not long after I busted him for his latest online cozy, intimate chat with another woman, he stalked into the room where I was reading, tossed three pictures on the table, and said, "these are pictures of my friend Linda. You can look at them and then either give them back to me or throw them away." (???) He knows, because I've told him several times, that mementos, pictures and letters do not bother me and I would never ask him to destroy them. The only thing I object to is his chatting, saying "I love you" and telling women how wonderful they are. So of course when I said, "why on earth would I want to throw your pictures away?" he got all agitated and said, "All I'm saying is that it's up to you." So I shrugged, said "okay" and pitched them into the trash. It's crazymaking. If I let it get to me, I'll go nuts!

And about the picture of him and his ex-wife, HE was the one who said he was tired of holding on to her stuff, and he was the one who boxed it all up and told her to come and get it. (She wouldn't.) So after I threw those pics in the garbage, because HE told me to, he digs out the picture of him and the ex to hang on the wall!