For PATCHES - This is where you start

Avatar for cajunharmony
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2001
For PATCHES - This is where you start
3
Tue, 09-18-2012 - 11:10pm

Hi Patches and we're glad you found us.  This IS where you get started.  Welcome to the start of a whole new life. 

http://cl-wishful78.tripod.com/RDAHomePage.cfm

That's the link for this community's website, which is crammed full of information, all included to help you with breaking the cycle of domestic abuse that is in your life.  You are welcome here always.  You are free to post any and everything that you feel like you need to.  No one here is going to judge you, blame you, re-victimize you or disempower you.  The members here share our experience, strength, hope, and what worked for us.  We're here to celebrate with you, mourn with you, get mad and kick the furniture with you.  We're also here to laugh with you, cry, wonder about our collective sanity.  And it is done in a way that, hopefully, will lift you up and help you to make the decisions that are right for you and your family, that will break the cycle and help you to reclaim your own power, your own life and that of your loved ones.  You've been with the abuser in your life for a long time.  I don't promise this will be easy, far from it, but in the end, will be so worth it.  First and foremost is your personal safety. 

For that, I urge you to contact your local DV agency/shelter for help with developing a safety plan, referrals to support group for you, and your kids if you have any, counseling and legal services.  The website womenslaw.org is a great starting place since you can search by state for resources in your area.  Since you haven't yet told us much about your situation, and we don't expect you to until you are comfortable and ready to do so.  But it's a good starting place, along with our community's website.

I don't want to put an epic post to you here and overwhelm you.  Others will be along to welcome you soon.  Your initial post was buried so far down on the other thread, so I decided to open one so your voice wouldn't get lost.  There's some amazing people on this board who have a lot of wisdom and solid suggestions borne of personal experience.  Read here, the website and anywhere else you can about DV and its baffling, confusing, and dangerous dynamics.  Knowledge is power and the more knowledgeable you are of DV, the more power you will have in breaking the cycle of abuse in your life, and making the choices that are right for YOU.  There's also a book by Lundy Bancroft, the author of Why Does He Do That? Inside the minds of angry and controlling men.  This book is simply written, but very effective in helping you to understand what is happening.  Lol, I wish I could make this book "required reading" for our members.  That's how important it is.  There will be times when it overwhelms you and you might have to put it down for a while, but once you've made it through it, you'll be glad you bit the bullet and kept reading.  Well, I don't want to overwhelm you right off the bat.  Check in and let us know how you're doing, if you're safe and whatever else you might have on your mind that you wish to share.  Most importantly, stay safe.  If ever in doubt, call 911 and stay connected to them until help arrives.  My best to you.


Mama Harmony

Community Leader
Registered: 10-22-2001
Wed, 09-19-2012 - 12:06am
Nightangel
Avatar for cajunharmony
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2001
Wed, 09-26-2012 - 9:16am

Patches, haven't heard from you in a few days and was wondering how you're doing.  Hope all is well and you're busy reading and learning all you can to make the right decisions.  If you get a chance, and it's safe, just give us a heads up and let us hear from you.  Peace.

Mama Harmony