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| Thu, 04-27-2006 - 2:02am |
This board saved me and now I'm here for someone who needs what to me seems tougher questions than I had to deal with. #1 she is married and I was not. #2 She doesn't want to go and I did? #3 she doesn't have a choice she has to go. I'll make this quick as possible but I tend to be long winded. She lives in another state and will be moving back here next month. She has not worked since she has been married to this guy and has no money. She has a car but I'm not sure who's name it is in and he pays all the bills. She is pregant and he wants her to get rid of it but she will not. They got married in this state and he filled for divorce here but he does not live here. What does she need to do before she comes back here. He has already threaten to get custody of the baby. I know that she needs to get that car in her name if it is not already and that she needs to get her name off any bills that are there and that she will title papers and payments for the car she has. What else does she need to do before she comes home? I have always hated this guy of hers and told her it would not work and told her not to loose all her pride. But she is there as I was there as you all are there. I was not married to my ex and I supported the family so I didn't go to court just got him out however I could and never let him back. I'm at a loss on what to tell her. But, I know there are things she needs to do. Good news is when she gets back home she has an apartment to go to and many friends and family to support her. She has a job if she needs one as well. So I guess my timed question is what does she need to do before she leaves there?
I also want to tell her if at all possible if he will sign away the rights to the baby to have him do it. Can that be done before she has it? Am I crazy to tell her this??
Please help me somethings I'm not to sure about.
HUGS and Prayers to you all>Jo

Well, if there is violence she does need to go to her local womens' shelter and get out as soon as she can. If she has a little time, though, she can use it wisely by forming a safety plan for getting out. Offer her some of the ideas in this post:
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/message.asp?webtag=iv-rldomesting&msg=25758.1&ctx=0
Also, check out our board website, accessible through the "Learn more about this community" link at the top of the page.