Please help my hurt heart heal!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2000
Please help my hurt heart heal!
3
Wed, 02-09-2005 - 3:54pm




Marie

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Wed, 02-09-2005 - 4:05pm

Hi hon -


I'm glad cl-bastphilliy posted this over here.

CL-Blueliner4

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2005
Wed, 02-09-2005 - 7:17pm

GO! DO IT NOW & DON'T LOOK BACK! I noticed on your profile you have 2 children. They are helpless so even if you feel you should try & 'fix' things (we all go through that) you have no right to put your children through the hell he will dish out to them. If he's not abusive to them now he will be in the future. I wish I'd been given the information you can now access when I was with my abuser. Even if I couldn't have left I would have felt saner.

There is no changing these men. They LIKE what they do. They pick women with soft loving hearts. The abuse doesn't lessen. There is no magic button you can press to make them stop. It will just get worse. Anyone here will tell you it's like a constant test. The abuse esculates over time, they increase it as they discover or look for your limits. Tell yourself you have reached yours.

Read all the posts, get as much infromation as you can about his personality type, brace yourself for the reaction he will have when you break off the relationship & how to handle his tactics to get you back. They don't like losing their verbal punching bag. They have to go to the trouble of finding & training a new one.

No one who loves you would treat you badly. That is the bottom line. Someone who wants to use & abuse you will set out to destroy you. Keep in mind that when you met him your self esteem was propably not the best & it's taken a dive in the last few months. It's vital you work on building it up or you don't stand a chance. I have not met you of course but I'm telling you now you are worthy of respect, love & happiness. Only you can give these gifts to yourself. It's never too late to start. We are all works in progress. If all else fails let me apeal to your vanity, stress ages you. Do you want to look old before your time?

You are very lucky to have found this site, I think all the women here are wonderful, supportive & wise. Don't be shy in asking for their advice.

Love Katie Bear xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2005
Wed, 02-09-2005 - 8:57pm

I'm going to prevent myself from sounding like a broken record, I am in agreeance with what Blue and Katie said.

5yrssm