Please tell me of other stories

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2004
Please tell me of other stories
4
Mon, 04-25-2005 - 7:35am

Such as this:

I left last August. Ex has a new girlfriend. She is 42 and in the process of getting divorced. Her ex husband works daily with my mom. She lives 5 minutes from me and her parents purchased the house she lives in. They give her money to live as she is getting divorced and has never worked. She was abusive to her stepdaughter with special needs and in general a awful person. I hear that when she is around my ex isn't himself and is very quiet and withdrawn, which is not him at all. He doesn't take her with him most places and she doesn't drive so if they go anyplace he drives. She supposedly has panic attacks when driving. I know he met and is living with her just to have a roof over his head as he didn't make enough to rent a place of his own or support himself. Plus he can keep tabs on me and make sure I know about her to once again try for a reaction. She even treats him worse than he ever treated me.

So now I hear that, she wants my son. Her parents, who are comfortable are tired of paying for her and she doesn't want to work. She apparently thinks that if she has my son to take care of they will support her, especially since my ex is sick and supposedly can't work. He has cancer which has reoccured. I know he wouldn't see the forest for the trees on a good day let alone now. I hear her plan is to get the baby from me by proving me unfit. Once the ex can get custody. Then she can ditch the ex by getting him to blow up and hit her or by him passing on. Then she can stay at home and have someone to take care of.

I swear I am not making this up. Please tell me other people have dealt with this and how they overcame it. I am scared and it makes it hard to get attached to the baby when your scared someone may take him away.

PS this also explains why social services was called on me.

-J

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2004
Mon, 04-25-2005 - 8:17am
If their allegations have no basis in fact, then they will not be able to take the baby from you. But sometimes it's hard to judge when you are right in the middle of it. What are they saying specifically that you are doing or not doing to make you an unfit mother?
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-24-2005
Mon, 04-25-2005 - 8:53am

This new woman sounds like a real nut case. She's 42, and never worked? Has panic attacks? Sounds like she has some mental issues going on there. I'd check into her background. That's not someone that sounds very stable.

I wouldn't worry to much about a custody battle ensuring. They both don't have the money. He'd have to come up with a bunch of money just to start. I don't see that happening. Just don't give him any grounds. The house doesn't have to be spotless, just picked up and livable. I know it's not easy when you have a child and you've been under tremendous pressure.

I don't know if you are seeing anyone, but I'd put dating on the back burner for now, until things settle down. If he's one of those jealous types that may only throw fuel on the fire. Believe me, I know from experience.

Take care of yourself and baby. Don't let him get to you, don't worry. Things will be ok, just let it blow over.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Mon, 04-25-2005 - 10:51am

Hi JB!

First off, take a big deep breath and let it out. You are doing just fine and shouldn't worry so much. Frankly, I'm surprised that the SS dept. would even come out since it was your STBX that called them. My STBX did this to me, and they called me and told me that someone (he) had reported me. They saw the big RED flag because they wanted to know why he would call on me "if everything was fine at home". When I told them that we were in the middle of a nasty divorce/custody battle, they blew it off. See what I mean? They KNEW that it was just another bitter H trying to hurt his W by having the children taken away.

Secondly, I had already involved them by applying for state assistance and I have a career counselor (through the dept.) that comes to my home every week. She reports directly back to them on a weekly basis. Guess what she see's every week...a clean home (not spotless, by any means), but picked up and livable, and the kids run, argue, and play with each other as if they hadn't a care in the world. In other words, a NORMAL, loving family!

My STBX has lied about me. His children have lied about me. I have had to take drug test after drug test to prove his allegations false. So far, the Judge and the GAL (that he requested) have seen right through his games. As a matter of fact, last weekend was the final straw with the Judge and she ordered his visitation suspended until further notice. I believe that he will be investigated for all of this as the Judge is fed up with his crap.

As far as the girlfriend, She's absolutely WAAAAAAAAY OUT OF LINE!!!!! She hasn't a leg to stand on as she is not the child's natural parent! Courts do not hand a child to someone who hasn't worked a day in her life or doesn't have any character, so to speak! You are and always will be MOMMY and that speaks volumes. It would have to be something very severe before they would allow your child to be taken away from you!

Lastly, take another deep breath, let it out, then look at yourself in the mirror. What do you see? I'll bet its a beautiful woman that loves her child with all of her heart and would not let any harm come to her child! Sweetie, just do your best and the rest will come naturally! Huge Hugs to you and your baby!

Melanie

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2005
Mon, 04-25-2005 - 12:00pm
JB honey, listen to what these women are telling you, they know what they are talking about and I agree with EVERYTHING they have said here in your post.
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