Possible I'm overreacting?
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| Thu, 04-22-2004 - 11:46am |
My bf is 31, I'm 25. We've gone out for a rocky 8 months. The good times are fantastic, but we have fights about once a month or so. I've been a weepy mess this past week (I'm beginning to notice a correlation between my emotions and my bc pill, though). I think I may be depressed as it runs in my family, and I tend to overthink a lot of things (ruminate) and need a lot of assurance lately from the bf, which I'm sure can get annoying.
He's broken up with me multiple times, always blaming his insecurities b/c he feels so close to me, etc. His ex cheated, so he's afraid I will too. He's had a hard life and I'm guessing suffers depression too. His "solution" is to drink every night after work.
After a good run, he asked me to move in with him. We both want out of our currently living situation and I spend most nights at his place anyway. He already put in notice with his landlord, but he's been moody about the fact that my lease isn't up until September and he'll have to shack up with a friend in the meantime. He also recently got paperwork regarding child support of his two children and might have to go to court, which is why he was moody last night.
I was hanging out with him and we were both drinking. We were just goofing around, and he put his cigarette close to my shoulder and said, "Wanna a tattoo?" I got serious and said to him that we were through if he touched me with the cigarette. He scoffed and said, "You wouldn't break up with me," gradually bringing the cigarette closer to my shoulder. I could feel the heat (I couldn't really see where it was), but didn't believe he actually would do anything to harm me. I popped up when I felt it was too close and yelled at him. He in turn told me I was insane, that he'd never do that and the ash was still intact at the end of the cigarette so he couldn't have touched me with it.
I think there was a small mark, but it faded quickly. I can't even be 100% I was burned, since I was drunk and not feeling much. I know it didn't hurt that bad so it wasn't a direct hit or anything, and he probably just got a little too close while joking around, but his lack of caring/belief that it hurt afterwards p*ssed me off. He looked insulted that I would accuse him of it and told me to go home.
I don't know what to do. I've already told my roomie we're cohabitating this summer and she already found another roommate. I'm in need of funds this month, and he was going to help me out b/c I was supposed to save his $ for our apt. for him, so I was to borrow from that.

Watch out, my abusive exbf started acting like that when the wheels of the circuit courts started turning when the first stages of his divorce were starting to finalize and the child support preceedings as well.
mel
Welcome indecisive -
RUN.
CL-Blueliner4
Welcome to the board, indecisive.
Peace and hugs,
Cheryl =)
The minute you settle for less than you
I glanced at some of the info on the homepage, and there's other signs as well; most prominent with him is jealousy and manipulation. According to him, he's jealous b/c I cheated on an ex-bf, and "once a cheat, always a cheat." It of course rears its head when I've got plans that don't include him; like a trip to Disney I had planned with girlfriends a year in advance and the bachelorette party I'm attending this weekend.
He's got very strong opinions against physical abuse (his mother was in a physically abusive relationship), so I don't think he'd ever hit me or anything like that, but the cigarette thing was so weird and unprovoked. Part of me wanted to dump him right then and there for the challenge and the insinuation that I wouldn't break up with him even for that.
I'm just so embarrassed b/c I of course broke down into a weepy mess in front of him when he told me to leave, and later dropped a mix CD in his mailbox I owed him with a couple select, spiteful Alanis tracks included.
Now he's ignoring me. I'm probably better off, so I don't know why I care. I made the point to his voicemail that when I accidentally spanked him too hard when we were joking around, I was at least apologetic and I'd expect the same from him.
I just feel so pathetic.