Possible multiple personalities?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2005
Possible multiple personalities?
6
Sun, 03-26-2006 - 6:41pm

or maybe he just wants me to think he does ? I have to see him on occasion to drop the kids off and pick them up etc ..(else I wouldnt see him at all )

And Friday he was sweet ,loving( not to me ,just in general ) ,kind with his words.etc .Friday night a monster...Saturday manipulation..and twisted my words all around ..threatening to come to my house and take the kids...Quit his job ..tell the cops that I am on drugs etc...

Today ...he has called me or emailed ALL day BEGGING me to have sex with him ...I called to see if the kids are ready to come home ..and he asked me to meet him and have sex .no wait a minute ,,he didnt just ask ..he kept me on the phone for 30 min.telling me how much he wanted it ..needed it etc...He was laughing and joking about it ...

I told him yesterday (after the cops left my house bc he threatened to come here ) that I was filing for divorce ..today he says "were only just seperated for a little while right ?> so why cant we have sex ?I dont want us to have to get it elsewhere "

He went to a therapist a couple weeks ago ..and didnt even follow up when he told him he needed serious help(he missed his next appt) so I know that was just a tactic...But he SO needs help ..and I am wondering if he really is mentally unstable .

Even though he tells me its not my fault... I cant help but feel it is in some way ,...he did tell me he needed me to do more, and that he wasnt feeling connected to me because of the distance ...But he really didnt give me a c

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2004
Sun, 03-26-2006 - 10:16pm

No, he doesn't have multiple personalities. What he does have is the ability to put on a pretty face when he thinks that that's going to get him what he wants. He knows very well what he is doing when he does that; switching between personalities is not a conscious act in people with true MPD.

For the record, my understanding of real multiple personality disorder is that it is a VERY rare diagnosis, manifests itself early on in life (childhood-ish), and presents predominantly in women, often as a consequence of sexual abuse. If your abuser does not fit these criteria, odds are that he is a much more common breed, a selfish manipulator. This is a very common "disorder", and it is much more likely that this is his problem. I'm sure that he would love for you to believe that he does have MPD and that all this isn't his fault, but that is EXTREMELY unlikely.

(Oh, and MPD sufferers have gone on record as stating that what one personality is not capable of, neither are the others; that is to say, one personality cannot be sweet as pie and the other one abusive. Think about that as it applies to him.)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2006
Mon, 03-27-2006 - 12:07pm
He may not have Mulitple Personality Disorder but he could still have some sort of mental problem. DOESN'T EXCUSE THE ABUSE THOUGH. I thought the same things about my stbx. He was order by court to have a psy. exam and my attorney just told me my stbx is officially nuts. Doesn't make the situation better or worse.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2005
Mon, 03-27-2006 - 12:19pm
well mine went to a psych as well....wasnt ordered to .but did ot as a tactic..he told him he couldnt help him ..that he needed meds ...and I agree that is doesnt excuse the abuse

Even though he tells me its not my fault... I cant help but feel it is in some way ,...he did tell me he needed me to do more, and that he wasnt feeling connected to me because of the distance ...But he really didnt give me a c

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2005
Mon, 03-27-2006 - 8:20pm
Preach it sister!

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2006
Wed, 03-29-2006 - 7:03am

Hello.. wow - sounds like i wrote this down myself...
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Today ...he has called me or emailed ALL day BEGGING me to have sex with him ...I called to see if the kids are ready to come home ..and he asked me to meet him and have sex .no wait a minute ,,he didnt just ask ..he kept me on the phone for 30 min.telling me how much he wanted it ..
---------------------------

My soon to be ex-husband kept saying i'm the only one he can do it to and his mom told me i would just have to lay on my back and spread my legs. I left him 3 weeks ago. He kept asking me to stop by. I was one time to settle things calmly and then i said no sex involved. Boy - did that get to be argumentive.

He said he needs it everyday and his hand is getting tired and he can only take so much.
When I lived with him and his parents, if I didnt have sex - I was seeing someone.
If I came home late from work or whatever (if I ever went alone - which was rarely) and I go to the bathroom first, he would think I was cleaning myself first from going out. He would see what kind of underwear I was wearing in the morning, to see if I had same one when I got home. I was a whore if I didn't have sex with him because I'm doing it with someone else.

Yes - sex was fine in the beginning, but the emotional rollercoaster I've been through got me to be very distant, to the point where I hated sex and just layed on my back, cleaning my nails, and later asking if he's done. He would get mad and I would say, well there you go, at least you got it.

He can be sweet one moment and hate me the next.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2005
Thu, 03-30-2006 - 9:08pm

Dang, haven't we found Dr Ruth's replacement?