pregnant

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2004
pregnant
14
Tue, 04-20-2004 - 10:54am
Hi all. I am so ashamed to have to be telling you this, but I am a month and a half pregnant with Kevins baby. He wants nothing to do with it at this point in his life, so I am stuck raising it on my own and I don't know if it is fair to bring a child into this world knowing it's father wants nothing to do with it. People say he'll change down the road or maybe when he sees him or her, but I doubt he will. He is not ready to grow up, he has told me that himself. He says he is not financially able to take care of another child. Well, either am I but I don't know that I j\have any other choice. He is so worried that I am gonna disrupt his happy little life he has tried to put back together with his wife. I am gonna tell her since he is moving her into the house we shared together, she has a right to know. He talks about doing what is right for his daughter, well what about this baby? It didn't ask to be brought into this world. I am just so confused. I told my stbxh and obviously he is furious since we are still legally married. He keeps asking me how I am gonna raise another kid on my own and he does make some valid points, but I don't know that I could go through with the other options I have. Christina

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2004
In reply to: girley1219
Mon, 04-26-2004 - 12:00pm
I know I have some major dependency issues and I need to deal with those before anything else. If I could go back and change the last 2 1/2 months and give Kevin my all, things would have been great. Going and being with my stbxh behind his back was the biggest mistake I have ever made, since honestly, it ment nothing, there were no feelings involved, I really didn't even like him touching me. Maybe it was fear, i really can't figure it out. I know how badly I have hurt Kevin.

As far as his wife, a lot has happenend in that situation. He has been lying to me for the last month saying he isn't moving her up here into the house. Well, Sat I drove by, my bf lives on the next street, and they were there moving her stuff in. I called and left him a message saying to not worry about me or this baby and have a nice life. I didn't mean it, it was all my emotions going crazy. I know it probably wasen't my place to call her and tell her, but I did. I left her a message yesterday and finally about 9:30 last night she called me. She thought I was lying to split up their marriage and he couldn't be man enough to tell her it was true. My friend then called her back and told her everything about how I have still been seeing Kevin and how he has been lying( may have been bad idea) well, I guess she left him and is moving her stuff out of his house supposidly this coming weekend. I just didn't think it was fair of him to move her up here and get all settled and then let her find out. He should have been man enough to tell her so she could make the decision to move or not. I know Kevin will be here for this child, he isn't the type to turn his back, he grew up without his dad and wouldn't put his child through what he went through.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2001
In reply to: girley1219
Mon, 04-26-2004 - 4:09pm

Reality check time.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2004
In reply to: girley1219
Tue, 04-27-2004 - 3:21pm
Kevins wife is not as innocent as you think. She was the one that pushed him to leave her 4 months ago, when I got with him. She tries to hold their daughter against him, that was why he went back because she was keeping his daughter from him, so saying this may sound harsh to some, but i have no sympothy for her. She is crazy.I didn't call her and tell her to hurt her but I felt she had the right to know. Would you want to find out your H got another woman pregnant after the fact or would you like to know while you still have time to make the right choice? I didn't tell her so she would leave him, granted I would love to be able to work things out with him, but that wasen't why I told her. He may be a dog in a lot of ways, but there is a good man under all that. He treated me so good while we were together and I screwed up and hurt him and that is something we'll have to deal with.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2001
In reply to: girley1219
Tue, 04-27-2004 - 10:43pm

Whether she's innocent or not, or what she does, she is still legally his wife.

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